college football's pre-season coaches' poll was just released. u-m is ranked #10, which is a little too high if you ask me. the spartys are featured at #18.

so i'm listening to "Trudi News" this morning on the way into work. trudi reported that an actor from the TV show Ed was caught smoking crack with some homeless guy in Brooklyn. and even though i didn't watch a single episode of Ed during Season 2, i still have an affinity for the characters (esp. Carol Vescey). so, in an attempt to figure out what happened, i typed in "smoking crack with the homeless" on google and i stumbled across this story! how come i never heard that the dad from Alf was CAUGHT ON VIDEOTAPE SMOKING CRACK AND HAVING GAY SEX?!?! yes, i said Willy Tanner! you know, the mild-mannered guy who always got frustrated with the hilarious cat-eating antics of Alf and the nosy yet neigborly presence of the Ochmoneks but always ended the show calm, patient and fatherly ...what the F? where was i when this story broke? but, more importantly, what is willy tanner doing smoking crack? he's like 65 years old and a total nerd! look at him! anyhoo, further research on the whole "actor from Ed" subject reveals that, allegedly, it's all a big misunderstanding. and it wasn't Ed, Carol Vescey, Phil or even Warren Cheswick...it was Dr. Mike. WILLY TANNER SMOKES CRACK (allegedly)!

Ø#!!?% just in case you're like me and you've been wondering what Q*bert is up to lately.

the line-up for next Tuesday's Area2 concert has been revealed. finally, the question "does Moby have the balls to usurp David Bowie and close the concert?" has been answered. and the answer is a resounding "obvs", as moby is detroit's official headline act. if you're going to Area2, be sure to get in touch with me. best.

THANK YOU! last night, at 9:34pm EST, whatevs.org racked up its 3,000th visit. i know, i know, this doesn't sound like very much. but if you take a look at the chart above, you'll see that whatevs.org has been kicking ass and taking names over the last month and some change, with over half of the site's all-time traffic coming through during july. so i just wanted to take this very brief opportunity to thank all of the loyal FOWs out there, and please let me know if there is anything else you would like to see make it to the site. i'm currently working on a mini-glossary to help explain "what the hell i'm talking about" (i get this email from various FOWs almost daily)...hopefully that will make it up by this wknd. i'm also planning on some bigger and better things down the road, but i won't let those proverbial cats out of their proverbial bags until the right time. obvs. so, once again, thank you for your patronage and continued visits. i have promised piping hot content for your sexy bod, and i'm glad to see that you're diggin' on it.

thursday thursday...
tgit. obvs. the only hot news that i've discovered this morning is Blur is set to release their follow-up to 13 in January.
but before i let you go, i would like to take a second to tell you that last night was one of the more underrated nights in the history of television. there was no buzz for the evening going in and, not surprisingly, no water cooler discussion the morning after. but last night's Cornocopia of Televised Delight requires a recap. if you were flipping around digital cable last night, you were likely to stumble upon Buffalo '66 on IFC, American Psycho on HBO2, Crank Yankers on Comedy Central, One Crazy Summer on VH-1, At Close Range on channel 157 (it's called like "True Life Movies" or something like that)...even American Idol on FOX. a truly marvelous night for channel surfing.
and yes, i just said American Idol. i have avoided this show, Bubonic-style, all summer long, but i thought that i would tune in last night to see what the fuss was all about. thankfully, my assumption from the get-go was correct. the show has sids. it was on from 9:30-10pm last night; by my count, that is 30 minutes. and the show had SIX COMMERCIAL BREAKS!!! that's not even counting the commercial they show after the closing credits! six commercial breaks in 30 minutes is ludicrous. and what filled those breaks was sheer fluff...why is this show the hottest thing since Gerardo? admittedly, there wasn't a "talent" portion last night so i didn't get to see if any of the Idol wanna-be's had any (talent, that is). maybe i'll tune in again.

what obscure band are you? i'm Hefner. "I am Hefner. I'm a hopeless romantic, but my relationships don't tend to turn out. it might be because i whine a lot. but despite that, people find me quite likeable". pretty much hits the nail on the head, but i don't think that i whine...that much.

a case of perfect timing...
so i just posted the twenty word reviews that i promised on monday. sorry. but, in a stroke of fate, i was just reading Jeffrey Wells and David Poland (see their links to Hollywood Confidential and The Hot Button, respectively, in the Links section) and they both talked about an article focused on Tadpole in today's Boston Globe. Ty Burr interviews director Gary Winick about shooting the movie in DV. Winick goes on to publicly bash his cinematographer big-time, which is the fastest way to lose friends and alienate people in Hollywood. to quote dave poland, "He does what a pro never does… he’s pointing a finger at a crew member for the poor visual quality of his film... (Winick) doesn't have the skills to get through production of five minutes of (director Mike) Figgis' Time Code effort." obvs. Tadpole had a little bit of charm, but ended up clearly in the camp of "moderatingly amusing/overwhelmingly bland" indie flix.

from the "who cares?!?" files...
apparently i do, because i'm posting this link. Lisa Leslie registered the first in-game dunk in WNBA history last night. what an embarassment that this is even a "news" story. first of all, she's 6'5"! jimmy bencik used to be able to throw down dunks when he was only 5'7"!!! second of all, the WNBA has been around for three years and this is the first time it's happened. it just goes to show you how b-o-r-i-n-g women's pro basketball truly is. los angeles sparks coach (and former member of the Lakers) Michael Cooper had this to say: ''We should have won this game for that reason alone.'' sids.

good news for fans of The Breeders and fans of Buffy (i'm probably the only person who reads this site who sits in both camps). nme reveals that Kim and Kelley will make a cameo this season on 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer'. and although adam told me about this a few weeks ago, the breeders next single ("son of three") will be released in the UK on september 2 and will feature the Buffy theme and a live version of "safari" as b-sides. guess who'll be on Amazon.co.uk that day?

i taught the little grizz well. today's detroit news features his review of The Rising. mine will follow later this week. and it is also important to note that there is a small cup of Haterade being brewed out there. if you turned on the TV yesterday, it was wall-to-wall Bruce. beginning with the Today Show at 7am and concluding with Nightline/Up Close at 12:30am, springsteen was all over the airwaves. being one of the bigger Springsteen fans out there, i welcome the coverage and the (rare) opportunity to hear his thoughts and listen to stories about what inspires him to create. however, some others think that the album should speak for itself and that the media blitz is a little self-aggrandizing. today's USA Today features an article on this very subject. but in the spirit of Biggie Smalls, i say "don't hate the player, hate the game." what's wrong with publicizing and letting people know how proud you are about the super fly album you just put on wax? i say it's all good in the hood. yo.

--- "Frey, Chris" wrote: Uncle Grahambo, Shirley, you jest. Yeah I just called you Shirley, surely.
Altho I am Tragic Leftist, McCain is ok in my book. He's more of a libertarian, hands off, "principled" Republican, and tho I don't always agree with him, especially on the usual left/right stuff, he's what I call "the right kind of conservative," and he hates GWB with a passion. Plus he was bestevs hanging with polar opposites Crosby Stills & Nash on Leno after Sept11. (When asked what the well-known anti-Vietnam folkrockers were doing while he was POW, Crosby replied "well, in our way, trying to bring him home.") How can whatevs.org give mad props to Candy Mills and diss McCizzies?
But this is not about politics, or "Find the Cost of Freedom" a capella (tho best); it's about the highest office in the land: SNL host. Even tho Giuliani is worst evs, even post911, his stops on SNL were always funny. In fact I charge SNL with doing the most to make him look good last fall, making us forget about the art-censoring, police-suspect-BFing-with-a-flashlight, public-records-hiding bastard reactionary he is. They even made Bob Dole look good when he showed up to take on Norm McD. But I digress.
McCain's prior comedy experience includes Comedy Central's Daily Show Election 2000 coverage, when they followed him around the campaign trail, the Repo. (the proper abbrev, obvs) Nat'l Convo, and generally teased/kissed his ass. But he took it all in good humor, and is still out there fightin' fer campaign finance reform (though he's dead wrong on a lot of health care stuff lately). Give him a chance and tune in. With luck, we'll be pleasantly surprised in the category of old-white-dude makes triumphant host, perhaps as great as the best host in that genre: George Steinbrenner of the Yankees (1989).

everything i ever learned, i learned from MTV
*DMX is one baaaad man. he doesn't like ANYONE.
*Jay-Z vacations in the south of france. wouldn't you?
*apparently, there are some people on this planet who still care about Sloan. personally, i haven't given them a second thought since Navy Blues.

*last but not lizz, there's also a good article called Bared Feelings, Not Midriffs, which is about the new wave of anti-Britney chicks like Michelle Branch, Avril Lavigne and Vanessa Carlton. like with the electroclash article i posted yesterday, i feel like i've read this before, but it is a good piece (printed on a Tuesday, no less!) on this emerging movement that is all the rage with the kids these days...

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN THE RISING Can't see nothin' in front of me Can't see nothin' coming up behind I make my way through this darkness I can't feel nothing but this chain that binds me Lost track of how far I've gone How far I've gone, how high I've climbed On my back's a sixty pound stone On my shoulder a half mile of line CHORUS: Come on up for the rising Come on up, lay your hands in mine Come on up for the rising Come on up for the rising tonight Left the house this morning Bells ringing filled the air Wearin' the cross of my calling On wheels of fire I come rollin' down here CHORUS There's spirits above and behind me Faces gone black, eyes burnin' bright May their precious blood bind me Lord, as I stand before your fiery light I see you Mary in the garden In the garden of a thousand sighs There's holy pictures of our children Dancin' in a sky filled with light May I feel your arms around me May I feel your blood mix with mine A dream of life comes to me Like a catfish dancin' on the end of my line Sky of blackness and sorrow ( a dream of life) Sky of love, sky of tears (a dream of life) Sky of glory and sadness ( a dream of life) Sky of mercy, sky of fear ( a dream of life) Sky of memory and shadow ( a dream of life) Your burnin' wind fills my arms tonight Sky of longing and emptiness (a dream of life) Sky of fullness, sky of blessed life Come on up for the rising Come on up, lay your hands in mine Come on up for the rising Come on up for the rising tonight

the clock is ticking. recently, you've seen her all dolled-up and looking like a two-bit sellout in those annoying Britney 4Wheelers ads. when you have a multi-million dollar Pepsi contract and you agree to shell for Sketcher rollerskates, you can bet that one of her agents/confidants/handlers must've told her that "time is running short; you'd better cash a LOT of checks as quickly as possible." then you had her cameo in Goldmember, where mike myers (somewhat lovingly) savaged her, making Britney the joke of the scene, NOT austin powers. the other celebs who cameo'd were part of the joke, not the target of the joke. now you've got this, a story whose headline reads briefly: Spears Abruptly Walks Off Mexico Stage, Ending Tour. this just days after encountering major buzz negativo by flippin the bird to the mexican press upon her arrival in that nation's capital. britney's fame lasted a good four or five years, which is way more than tiffany or debbie even dreamed of. in this case, howevs, let's just hope that the playboy photo-shoot doesn't take 12 years to happen.

ok, so i NEVER watch the today show. or any of the morning shows, for that matter. sleep is too precious. but this morning i turned on The Today Show for the first time in well over a year, and what do i see? springsteen cruisin' around Ocean City, NJ with matt lauer! just the boss driving around in a convertible mustang, hangin' with the locals and lauer. an example...The Boss walked into some local antique shop and was like "hey, mary lou!". she hugged him and asked, "how are you, bruce?" he knows all of the owners of all of the local shops! best! and then he pulled out a guitar (swear to God!) and played "my city of ruins"...is there anyone alive more best ever than springsteen?
so, if you've somehow forgotten, tomorrow marks the release of The Rising. $9.99 style at best buy. be there tomorrow morning. obvs. let the week of springsteen begin!

happy monday to each and every FOW walking the planet Earth. this was a low-key weekend, yet it still managed to be tigs. look for twenty word reviews of orange county, lovely and amazing, austin powers in goldmember, reign of fire, and tadpole sometime early this afternoon. but before that, here is an article from yesterday's LA Times detailing the new electro-clash scene, populated by artists such as Peaches, Adult, Felix da Housecat and Fischerspooner. it is a good write-up (and the first I've seen in a newspaper) on the best musical trend to emerge in years, although i felt like i read the exact same article in GQ last month. so all of you GQ subscribers out there can skip this link...who am i kidding? no one subscribes to GQ anymore! in fact, i'm pretty sure that i'm the last man in America who still receives Esquire on a monthly basis...(note to the editors of Esquire: if you're going to feature Hilary "Shitmouth" Swank on any future covers, please cancel my subscription. merci beaucoup)