LPs

seven and the ragged tiger. strangeways, here we come. the boy with the arab strap. sticky fingers. the wild, the innocent and the e street shuffle. little earthquakes. as nasty as we wanna be. nine tonight. power, corruption and lies. parallel lines. (uncle grambo)

This Isn't It. Even Worse. Music From the Motion Picture Blue Crush. The Unauthorized Biography Of Reinhold Messner. When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He’ll Win the Whole Thing ‘Fore He Enters the Ring There’s No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You’ll Know That You’re Right. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. Aoxomoxoa. 12 Golden Country Greats. Paintin' the Town Brown. (nummer)

10 from 6. laid. bedtime stories. ou812. i'm the DJ, you're the rapper. the cactus album. paul's boutique. (kinky glinky)

let's get it on. license to ill. Apocalypse 91...The Enemy Strikes Black. 19 Naughty III. high voltage. girls girls girls. (the lawrs)

foxbase alpha. the unforgettable fire. catholic boy. dog man star. the head on the door. kicking against the pricks. geek the girl. doppelganger. ladies and gentleman we are floating in space. am I not your girl? (MacK 10)

It Takes a Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back. Strangeways, Here We Come. Love & Theft. Exile On Main Street. The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society. The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan. 50,000,000 Elvis Fans Can't Be Wrong. Good Old Boys. Darkness On the Edge Of Town. Parklife. Eat a Peach. Kick Out the Jams. American Beauty. Life's Rich Pageant. Fear of a Whatevs.org Planet. (connienyc)

Believo! Geogaddi. Vespertine. The Sound of the Colour of the Sun. New Wave Hot Dogs. Whole Oats. (h-bomb)

Under the Table and Dreaming. Living With Ghosts. Lost and Gone Forever. Check Your Head. In Light Syrup. Violator. Sketches for My Sweetheart the Drunk. (DaBest)

the standalone sensor. why didn't you ask why? jesus and the iron tyrannosaurus. astrogirl, revisited. my computation notebook. i'm glad we stuck together. you can't be neutral on a moving train. the resonance of distance. a chrome green. proximity's surprise. (APLarcadia)

kittenz & thee glitz. portrait of a marathon. pinkerton. yankee hotel foxtrot. a storm in heaven. bitches brew. magical mystery tour. (peabs)

Double Nickels on the Dime. All Samples Cleared. Emperor Tomato Ketchup. POWER IN NUMBERS. Love Deluxe. Suzuki. Spelunking. A Go-Go. 'Til Shiloh. As Kosher as They Wanna Be. (GKV)

rum, sodomy and the lash. after the gold rush. modern life is rubbish. slanted and enchanted. blue train. darklands. leftism. never mind the bollocks here's the sex pistols. building nothing out of something. the beatles. (koto)

London O Hull 4. Songs in the Key of Life. Love is Hell. Pills 'N' Thrills and Bellyaches. Bucky Fellini. Revenge is Sweet, and So Are You. (glavzies)

i love ranch

some people are inspired by religion. others by money. others by power. still others by fame. the top-notch FOW who goes by the nickname of Mandypantalons is inspired by...ranch dressing. yes, ranch dressing. if you have a Ranch experience to share, you can send her an email at iloveranch@hotmail.com. until then, please enjoy this delightful fable of the recent Ranch experience Mandypantalons had, an event so spectacular that she brought the iloveranch@hotmail.com email address out of retirement. enjoy!

From: "Mandy Pantalons"
To: markdgraham@yahoo.com
Subject: iloveranch@hotmail.com is back
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 11:46:21 -0400

Hello fellow ranch lovers:

I'm back after a looooonng break. I have a quick ranch experience to share:

Let's face it, as lovers of ranch we determine where we will eat on whether or not the restaurant has ranch and whether or not it is any good. Recently though, I added another category: is the ranch easily accessible/freely flowing? I'm finding more and more that restaurants (fast food) are charging a fee for extra ranch. This is highly irritating and discouraging for those of us who need approximately 15 ranches to complete a meal. The question I ask myself these days is where can I get as much ranch as I need for a bargain? Well, fellow ranch lovers, I have an answer: Fuddruckers. For those of you who know about Fuddruckers, why didn't you share this information before? And for those of you who don't, I'll fill you in.

Fuddruckers, where one will find the "World's Greatest Hamburgers," also has the world's most easily-accessible vat of ranch. Fuddruckers is a psuedo fast food operation where diners order food, wait, get it with no toppings and then dress it themselves. It's loud, bright and fattening. After the food is up, you go through a cafeteria-style line reminiscent of the Towers Dining Hall. They have your typical lettuce, tomato and onions and then they have your condiments. The condiments are housed in the pump dispensers similar to those at the fancy McDonald's locations, but there is one main difference; they're HUGE! Like, I almost needed a step stool to reach the pump. Anyway, as I was strolling through the line I passed the ketchup (normal), mustard (normal), bb-q sauce (hey, this place is great), hot cheese (whoa, boo-ya!), and then labeled so small that I almost passed it without taking advantage of it, there was a tub of ranch with a pump on it! And, sitting next to it were little baby plastic containers with lids to put it in! perfect for dipping. And, the main draw, YOU CAN GET AS MANY RANCHES AS YOU WANT! (By the way, I wouldn't be writing about this ranch if it wasn't good.)

This is the kind of ranch I've been dreaming about, good taste, great texture, FREELY FLOWING. It doesn't get much better when you're dealing with fast-food and nearly fast-food restaruants. All the ranch you want, no extra charge. And, if you're like me, you can pack a few ranches to store in your company's fridge in case of an emergency. Friends, I'm telling you....go to your nearest Fuddruckers immediately. Don't try McDonald's, we all know that their ranch is 35 cents. Don't stop at Burger King, their ranch is pricey and we now know that the fat-free rumor we heard is not true. Wendy's, now they have Hidden Valley, but still, 50 cents for an extra. Stop at Fuddruckers. If you don't have one, come visit me, I have one 1/2 mile down the road from my office. yipppeeee!

leo vs. leo

little babies gonna go home and cry to momma...

wartinsmooth, you should be ashamed of the sissy punks walking the halls of your alma mater these days. apparently 10 Rochester High School seniors quit the Varsity football team because their coach swore at them and got in their face. what a bunch of whiny losers! team captain Dave Malson is quoted as saying "(Head Coach Mark Merlo) talked about my best friends, calling them awful and how they sucked." well DUH! that's just what coaches do! ever heard of motivation by intimidation? this once again proves my theory that Rochester residents who live south of Walton suck!

friday friday friday

die another day

reader retort: defending the daily

i hope that by this time you already know that i love each and every one of you FOWs out there like you're my own children. but, as with every parent, you always have your favourite child. in this case, mine has got to be the multi-talented FOW known as The Gorilla. not only is he prolific in his responses to posts on whatevs.org, but his retorts are consistently thoughted and well-constructed. here is The Gorilla's response to my post on the recent plight of The Michigan Daily:

Subject: Michigan Daily
Date: Wed, 9 Oct 2002 09:07:20 -0400
From: "The Gorilla"
To:markdgraham@yahoo.com

A quick comment on the Daily, realizing I’m hardly impartial, I worked there and my brother is the music editor there now.But here’s the skinny.

First off, I went to both State and Michigan, as did my brother. There is no comparing the State News to the Daily. Its like comparing the Impact to Cool Hits 107 (well, not that bad). The State News news isn’t bad, but their features, and columnists are pretty weak (at least when I was there) – they also had an ugly, very high schoolish layout too which is a pet peave. The Daily isn’t great, but generally its better than the State News.

Second, the Daily is probably one of the most liberal papers in Michigan, I know, I wrote a good deal of the editorials for two years. The minority protests are nothing new, and really it’s a reflection of how liberal the campus is and a desire by many young people to engage in social protest and having no “institutions” to protest, because the institutions agree with them already.

kinky glinky and jillycakes

whatevs.org update

why marketing is the best profession in the world

if you work in the advertising or marketing profession and you don't already receive New York Times columnist Stuart Elliot's weekly email on the advertising industry, you are missing out on some classic stuff. this short synopsis of the most recent Burger King ad campaign was found in one of his recent columns and is pure genius. you know the campaign, the one where the talking menu board (voiced by Adam Carolla) appears in unlikely places (elevators, golf courses) chatting about BK's new 99-cent menu. what follows is the customer rationale behind the concept, as described by Deutsch LA's managing partner Eric Hirshberg...

"One of our early observations was that Burger King's primary competitors have various degrees of homespun, familial wholesomeness in their advertising, so Burger King can live in a different tonal universe, edgier and more youthful. We said to Burger King, 'If Wendy's and McDonald's are Ozzie and Harriet, you have the opportunity to be the Osbournes.

"The other observation we made, supported by listening to consumers, was that the heavy users of fast food, the 'fast-food black belts,' know every nuance of the menus of the different stores. They may not know the state capitals, but they know who has a 12-ounce drink and who has a 14-ounce drink. So we decided, let's get out of their way and talk straight to them."

the Magna Carta of press releases

originally revealed this afternoon by nummer, this is probably THE single greatest press release i have ever had the pleasure to read. and i say this with all sincerity...no joke. this press release does a MAGNIFICENT job in conveying everything you could possibly hope to convey: it has a great intro paragraph that builds interest, it goes to great lengths to describe the details of the actual pizza, it waxes enthusiastically about the passion and dedication of those who developed the 'Za, and it even includes some testimonials from highly regarded pizza makers! kudos to whoever does the PR for Pizza Hut, you deserve mad props. let this be a lesson to aspiring PR Execs all over (especially Detroit-based FOW Mandypantalons). now the only thing that's left is trying this bad boy. one thing you can be sure of, it's easily the best thing to happen to food since the P'Zone was introduced late last year. unfortunately for the Hut, howevs, is the fact that there is no way they'll ever be able to touch the pizza prestige of Chicago's My Pi. obvs.

STICK A FORK IN IT * IT'S DONE! PIZZA HUT® BRINGS THE CHICAGO DISH PIZZA TO THE REST OF AMERICA

After 10 Years, Pizza Hut Experts Cracked the Code on Creating an Authentic Chicago Pizza

DALLAS (September 30, 2002) - It took just eight years to land a man on the moon, five to discover a cure for polio and four to paint the Sistine chapel. But it took Pizza Hut, Inc., more than 10 years to perfect an authentic Chicago-style deep-dish pizza.

The Chicago Dish Pizza debuts nationally on September 27, and it marks the first time Americans across the country will be able to get their hands on - and forks into - an authentic Chicago-style pizza.

"The Chicago Dish Pizza is the first true Chicago-style pizza available nationally, and with the speed people expect from a Pizza Hut restaurant," said Leah Evans, senior vice president of research and development. "This is the pizza everyone has been waiting for. It took more than 10 years to get it right," she added.

Developing an authentic Chicago-style pizza that can be delivered quickly to table or door has been the holy grail of the pizza segment. Because real Chicago-style deep-dish pizza is so massive, it can take up to 45 minutes to prepare and cook. But, after years of development, the Pizza Hut team cracked the code. The company even has a patent pending on certain aspects of the pizza-making process.

Priced at $11.99, most markets, with up to three toppings or specialty combinations, The Chicago Dish Pizza marks another Pizza Hut "first" and underscores the company's tradition of innovation and value.

"Pizza Hut restaurants and consumers have been asking for a Chicago-style pizza for years," said Evans. "We could have done a Chicago-style pizza years ago if we had been willing to give up some of the attributes that make this dish authentic," she said. "We simply weren't willing to make compromises, so we had to come up with an original solution. The challenge was to create an authentic Chicago-style pizza and still be able to cook and serve this abundant pie without the typical 45-minute wait."

According to Evans, Chicago-style pizza is different from other pizzas: Chicago-style pizza has a flaky crust with tall sides. The dough is made with a hint of corn meal for taste and texture. The build of the pizza begins with a thick layer of sliced mozzarella cheese. It's filled with an abundance of toppings, shredded cheese and then chunky marinara sauce is poured on the top of the pizza.

While some Chicago pizzerias have variations or twists that are uniquely theirs, Pizza Hut executives researched the core attributes of an authentic Chicago pizza by spending time in the Windy City. The company also asked consumers in Chicago and elsewhere about their views. The result is a pizza that makes the grade with flying colors for taste and authenticity.

The Chicago Dish Pizza has sliced 100-percent mozzarella cheese and shredded cheese - more than twice the amount of cheese in a typical medium pizza. And customers are encouraged to load this pizza with toppings.

The marinara sauce is well seasoned and full of tomato chunks. The sauce is separately cooked and heated next to the pizza as it travels down the conveyor oven, which is one of the ways the Pizza Hut team achieved the cook-through in record time. For dine-in guests, the pizza is served at the table out of the pan and on a pedestal. Servers pour chunky marinara sauce on top of the pizza right at the table, and offer hand-grated cheese.

Delivery customers will find the sauce on top of the pizza, and they'll notice a new, deeper box to transport The Chicago Dish Pizza. And whether at home or in the restaurant, it requires a fork to eat it!

The Chicago Dish Pizza is the Real Deal

The Pizza Hut team invited Gale Gand, partner in the popular Chicago restaurant Tru and a North Shore native, to try The Chicago Dish Pizza. Although best known for her dazzling desserts, Gand knows her way around a pizza peel. Her experience includes working for three years in London with Bob Payton, who introduced Chicago-style pizza to Europe at his famed Chicago Pizza Pie Factory restaurant.

Gand was impressed with the authenticity of The Chicago Dish Pizza, the abundance of stringy mozzarella cheese, and the texture, taste and flakiness of the crust. Her favorite toppings were the traditional Chicago combination - Italian sausage, mushrooms and onions.

"The richness of the crust surprised me," said Gand. "It's light and flaky, almost like pastry. It's soft, but golden and slightly crispy on the outside. There's real craftsmanship to the way it's made," she added.

"It looks like a Chicago deep-dish pizza. It's loaded with toppings and lots of mozzarella cheese. I'm excited that Pizza Hut is bringing Chicago-style pizza to the rest of the country," said Gand. "Now everyone can fall in love with the dish that Chicago calls its own."

The Magic Combination of Innovation and Value

With the introduction of The Chicago Dish Pizza, Pizza Hut executives believe they have not only successfully solved the greatest pizza puzzle in recent history, but also are following in the tradition of doing what the company does best: combining innovation and value.

According to Evans, consumers have come to expect innovation and variety from Pizza Hut restaurants. "Our customers count on us to bring exciting new products with fresh, high-quality ingredients, attractive pricing and a fun dining experience. And we are committed to giving customers what they want and when they want it," she said.

The Chicago Dish Pizza launch, one of the company's most significant new product introductions, will be supported by national marketing and advertising campaign, including television, print and radio advertising, in-restaurant point of purchase materials and online initiatives.

boycott the daily!

once again proving that A2 is fertile ground for anyone looking to complain about anything to drum up support, various student groups on campus are currently boycotting the Michigan Daily. according to some sort of formal petition that was filed, "The Michigan Daily has become a publication that manifests the institutional racism and ignorance that plague communities of color, and threatens the progress of the campus community at large." granted, i haven't read The Daily consistently since i left ann arbor just over a year ago, but it is difficult for me to imagine that the paper has really shifted that far to the right (let alone suddenly morphed into a Racist Mouthpiece) in such a short amount of time. when i was there, the paper never really excelled in anything other than the consistently difficult crossword puzzles which kept me awake during many a boring lecture, so i find it slightly implausible that the paper now excels in being racist. gimme a break. can anyone from A2 contribute anything to this discussion? friggs, what do you think? any comments from the brothers stevenson?

ray liotta has Oscar buzz

only in the pages of NME

NME.com visitors recently ranked their all-time favourite (note the "our" spelling) Oasis singles. in a semi-upset, "Live Forever" outscored heavy favourite "Wonderwall". the top 10 go as follows (in order): "Live Forever", "Don't Look Back In Anger", "Supersonic", "Wonderwall", "Whatever", "Some Might Say", "Cigarettes & Alcohol", "Stop Crying Your Heart Out" and "D'Ya Know What I Mean." While I could debate the merits of just about every Oasis single ever released, my own personal Top 5 would have to run in this order.

what? and postpone the highly anticipated Episode 3 of "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter"? no WAY!

somebody call immigration!

reader retort

fast becoming the Andy Rooney of whatevs.org (by his own admission, not mine) is the FOW known as The Gorilla. today's rant revolves around the latest marketing gimmick that Jeff Bezos launched on the unsuspecting masses, The Amazon Gold Box...

What’s with the Amazon Gold Box?

If you’re not familiar with the Gold Box, it’s a series of discounted items that are available to you everyday (usually 10-15 things) to registered Amazon customers. You can only buy one deal a day, and you only have 1 hour to contemplate purchasing this item at the discounted price before its GONE FOREVER. It’s also the most random collection of shit ever assembled. Today I was offered:
--a weed wacker (Sure what ever, I wack all sorts of stuff, why not weeds)
--stainless steel calipers (in case I needed to caliperate something I guess)
--a HP calculator that appeared to be from 1986 (release bean counter within)
--a Magic Kitty Pink Persian stuffed toy, which is fun and prepares you for a life as a gay cat beautician
--a $64 clock radio so over done with features the Sharper Image said, “hey isn’t that a bit much?”
--drill bits to remove broken off screws (I can’t tell you how often my beefy guns crank down so hard on the old Philips I BREAK OFF THE HEAD OF SCREW)
--a “contractor grade” box cutter for the suicidal terrorists who finds exactos a bit flimsy
--Chardonnay wine glasses (do not operate with weed wacker)
--A $2000 (hey that’s an $855 savings) Generac Portable Products 1339 10,000 Watt Electric Start Generator, because you know sometimes Edison gets stingy with the old watts and volts
--And finally a woodworkers table saw (table not included), which probably operates quite well on less than 10,000 watts

guess who's back?

candy ravers