and last but not least, this little story is worth recapping. i went home for a PB&J today at lunch and happened to catch the new Tori Amos video on MTV2. i'll try to summarize the plot as best i can for you. the video opens with a close-up of a woman's leg walking down the street. the camera pulls back to reveal that the leg is NOT attached to a body...the leg is cut-off just above the kneecap, and in its place sits the head of Tori Amos. the leg kinda hops around the street until it meets a similarly disfigured arm. this arm is cut-off at the elbow, and just so happens to have Adrien Brody's head attached to it. at this point, i was like "what the fuck?" i wasn't alarmed by the bodyless leg talking to the bodyless arm so much as being super confused by seeing Adrien Brody. last time he was spotted ANYWHERE was "Summer of Sam". anyway, the Tori-Leg and the Brody-Arm start having conversation...naturally! well, things are going just swimmingly for this match made in heaven until the Tori-Leg's shoe falls off. then it is revealed that the Tori-Leg has a big toe where her little toe should be. the Brody-Arm starts laughing at the Tori-Leg because, evidently, everybody knows that you shouldn't have two big toes! even in a world where detached arms are acceptable, nasty feet are just plain gross. looks like Dr. Scholl wasn't a lunatic, after all. that mutha knew what he was up to! the plot goes on from there, the Tori-Leg cries and buries its feet in the sand, blah blah blah. basically it is probably the worst video I've seen since Michael Jackson played a fat, white Jewish guy in "Ghosts". this video was just TOO crazed, which didn't really seem possible until now. it was obviously made by the two headed love-child of Salvador Dali and Luis Bunuel, who grew up with a massive foot fetish and a taste for suckin' on toes, and spent the months leading up to the video shoot licking toads that were bred in pools of Mountain Dew, Liquid Paper and Crystal Pepsi Meth. obvs. worst.

 

creepy con carne

for more details on the situation, head over to Bitter Rivals.com ... it's a U of M vs. MSU message board with some more details on the situation.

Heather: Usually, I'm not really into the compilation SNL episodes, so with the exception of "The Best of Will Ferrell," this will be the first one I've sat down and watched in a long while. I'm actually looking forward to a sketch featuring Adam Sandler's "crazy" costumes It's been a good couple of years since I've seen any of those. Anything else, however, is a toss up. I'm not expecting to laugh my ass off, but I'm hoping for just enough to keep me watching.

— And finally, MTV.com also reveals that Ja Rule Calls DMX (and i quote) "A Jealous Crack Addict" on his next album. this feud has been boiling for a few months now, and this may be the straw that breaks DMX's back. developing...

this morning's Detroit News showcases an epic melding of whatevs.org faves. the grizz profiles The Prime Ministers on the eve of their biggest show to date -- an opening slot for Imperial Teen on Saturday night. it's probably one of the more in-depth interviews I have ever read with the PMs, and although I've known lead singer Todd Wicks and bass player extraordinaire Lawyer Ned Friendship since high school, I still feel like I learned something about the band's mission and goals. if you aren't getting married or going out on a date with a Playmate on Saturday night, you have no excuse for NOT going to the Magic Stick for what is destined to be a night filled with sugar-coated power pop from Imperial Teen, not to mention a chance to see the bright lights of adoration shine heavy on The Prime Ministers. congrats must go out to the PMs...you're finally getting some long-overdue props. now when's the new record coming out? and just to know that it's not only Uncle Grambo calling out for the boys to head back into the studio, Shannon McCarthy from Real Detroit was recently inquiring about the same thing!

 

x-tina

woman about Detroit Christina Fuoco was apparently in attendance of a local screening of "8 mile" the other night. director Curtis Hanson made a surprise appearance, but not as surprising as Fuoco's turn from music writer to film critic. Her review of the screening AND the film throws props to Em, calling him "stunning" in his feature film debut, and is featured on this morning's CDNow AllStar News.

 

— Episode 1: Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E-Street Band
— Episode 2: Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill

there was a point in 1998, where if one were to classify certain "indie bands" as being "indie" (and therefore even MORE "indie" than bands that were already noted as "indie"...or what evs), those "indie-est" would've been part of the Elephant 6 Collective ... you know, bands like Apples In Stereo, Neutral Milk Hotel, Olivia Tremor Control, Elf Power and so on and so forth. For all intents and purposes, the Dogma 95 of the music industry. The Elephant 6 was kind of like the Dream Team of Indies, bands who shared a common appetite for grandiose yet minimal pop music who kind of favored Brian Wilson as their patron saint. I was first introduced to the Apples In Stereo by the Chicago-based FOW Wartinsmooth at a show at Chicago's legendary (yet now defunct) Lounge Ax, and I also caught them a few times over the years with assorted FOWs like ConnieNYC and The Grizz (obvs!). well, unfortunately for indie music fans worldwide, The Elephant 6 Collective has called it a day. The participating bands will not necessarily break up, but the collective as we know it is now dead. Which is worst.

if i don't get fired for posting to this weblog from work, i'll certainly get fired sooner or later for continually laughing out loud when I read Neal Pollack's The Maelstrom, a daily blog who's humour quotient is off the charts. for instance, today's post involves another go-round with Pollack's recent (and fictional) arrest in France for "inciting racial hatred through pretentious writing", largely for saying that "The Koran isn't worth masturbating into." He also takes on Bruce Springsteen by describing a recent (and fictional) Springsteen concert in, of all places, Rome. upon seeing the reaction of the Italians to America's favourite rocker, he informs us that "It warmed my heart that foreigners could see the best of what American culture has to offer. There are two ways to look at America from abroad right now. One is the wrong way, the left-wing way, which portrays George Bush and his evil band of brigands as Bible-toting gun-happy plutocratic monsters bent on destroying all that is sane and good in the world, not caring how many prostitutes they shoot up when they bust into the saloon. Then there’s the real America; the one where a working-class kid from New Jersey can work with class and meet a bunch of guys in New Jersey and start a band, getting on the cover of Time magazine before he's 25 but eventually having all his hopes and dreams sucked dry by a meaningless lawsuit and then finding himself reborn as an accidental patriot and then marrying a supermodel and becoming uncomfortable with his multi-million dollar house and then recasting himself as a sad acoustic troubadour and then rising to the occasion on America's darkest day. That's the American life that we all live, and know, and love so well."

despite the fact that whenever you turn on the radio these days you hear Avril Lavigne's catchy yet overplayed "Sk8r Boi", there are a few shining moments of artistic triumph eminating from FM radio towers. i'm mainly talking about Eminem's "Lose Yourself", Nirvana's "You Know You're Right", Madonna's "Die Another Day", and Missy Elliott's "Work It." you know, the type of songs that cause an involuntary reaction of turning the radio on full blast. the kind that require conversations be halted until their conclusion. the kind that DEMAND your attention. and, fortunately, the kind that you will be hearing a lot on radio for the next few months. and, with the exception of "Lose Yourself" (building serious "8 mile" buzz and serious contender for The Grahammy's Single Of The Year), it seems that a few writers from The Village Voice concur. today's issue features Sterling Clover dissecting the new Bond theme (he calls it "A blistering zeitgeist-negation, hostile and uneasy—as a single, a club track, a Bond theme") and Jane Dark taking a look at Nirvana and Missy ("spooky-catchy" and "omnivorously fun and implausibly inventive", respectively); polar opposites in terms of style, but surprisingly similar as musical revolutionaries.

 

— last but certainly not lizz, one of the leaders of the FOW movement in Ann Arbs passed this final link along to your Uncle Grambo. APLarcadia remembered my fondness for all things Dave Eggers, so he passed along the link to this story from Sunday's Los Angeles Times: Eggers' Trail Of Broken Hearts.

thanks to a2-based FOW Mack10 for revealing this mariah buzz. Billboard Magazine is reporting that Mariah's new album will be called "Charmbracelet" ...what? this is easily the worst album title since the days of "Fairweather Johnson", but that doesn't mean that I won't be at Besties first thing on December 10 to pick this shizz up. and while the album cover hasn't yet been revealed, here's a screen grab of Mariah from her latest video, courtesy of mariahcarey.com.

(EDITOR'S UPDATE: turns out that she's also a media 'ho! she's also quoted in an article in the rival Freep. this brought to mind Shannon Doherty's character from "Heathers" who always ended up on camera after each of her friend's funerals. obvs.)

Team Blue is Red Hot Unclegrambo Oct 22, 2002 Troy, MI (AP) - As comedian Jerry Seinfeld might say, "Whaaat's the deal with TeamBlue?" As recently as Week 5, when Team Blue sat in the basement of the whatevs.org ff2k3 with a 1-4 record, Coach Glinka's squad was the laughing stock of the league. But then Glinka was struck with the brilliant idea of securing Kate Bosworth and the "Blue Crush" girls as his team's mascot, replacing the ultra-lame Blue Man Group. The result? A two-game winning streak, putting Team Blue right back in the thick of this year's highly competitive playoff race. Kudos, props and congrats must go out to Team Blue for this brilliant strategic move. Obvs.

if you're headed to tonight's Beck / Flaming Lips extravanganza at the Detroit Opera House, you may or may not want to reveal this review of last Thursday's tour opener in Minneapolis"It was a night of childish pranks, outright silliness, and pure brilliance." for those who are going tonight, it should be pure tigs. looks like we'll be meeting up at Plaka's around 7pm for pre-show coneys, if anyone is interested. obvs.

one of Hollywood's biggest problems is that it suffers from some major self-esteem issues. the media at large (including their subset of professional film critics) constantly bashes Hollywood for churning out movies that appeal to the lowest common denominator simply because that population gives them the most return on their investment. it makes good business sense, but studio execs also feel the need to stretch and extend their reputations with the aptly-named "prestige films" (a good case in point are The Brothers Weinstein -- Harvey runs Miramax, which largely focuses on indie movies with some artistic aspirations, and Bob runs Dimension, a highly profitable arm that produces low-budget / high-return horror flicks). and since it is rare that Hollywood can generate an original "prestige" idea, they often take to adapting Pulitzer and/or Booker Prize winning novels and turn them into two and a half hour snoozefests. probably the worst offender of this was Miramax with their filmic equivalent of a Nyquil overdose, "The English Patient" (directed by Anthony Minghella). next on the slate is the adaptation of Charles Frazier's woefully boring "Cold Mountain" ... and if you guessed that Minghella is taking the reins of this film, you were right. despite the fact that the flick has Jack White buzz, it's surely gonna suck. The Los Angeles Times' David Gritten reports from Romania, where the film is currently being shot. sids.

Nummer and the H-Bomb are back with a scathing review of the Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill episode of Saturday Night Live (original air date: 10.12.02). Writer bios to be posted soon. Until then, enjoy another installment of SNL Season 28 Revealed: what evs (dot org) | SNL Season 28: Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill