whatevs.org presents...

"SNL - SEASON 31 REVEALED"

by Nummer and H-Bomb

Episode 8: Alec Baldwin / Shakira (12/10/05)

CONEY RATING SYSTEM
= John Belushi
= Amy Poehler
= Tim Meadows
= Melanie Hutzel
= Charles Rocket
= Self-Explanatory

0-10 Coneys – Garbage
11-20 Coneys – Needs Improvement
21-30 Coneys – Average
31-40 Coneys – Above Average
41-50 Coneys - Instant Classic
51+ Coneys - Unparalleled Comic Genius

OAD = Original Air Date*

(*To be fair, coneys will be awarded the same as they were the first time they aired)

With the help of better sketch writing, sillier impressions and a better musical guest, Alec Baldwin delivered a much better episode than his last hosting gig back in 2003. His standout performances were “Winter’s Breath” on Santa’s Workshop, great Saddam Hussein (Cold Opening) and Barney Frank (O’Reilly Factor) impressions and the Man Who Married a Hot Dog – Jeremy Conners.

The Santa’s Workshop and Jeremy Conners sketches were probably the strongest of the night, which made me wonder why the Faceplant sketch was chosen as the lead off. Santa’s Workshop housed some great lines like “3rd Place is Your Fired” and “You know what it takes to be one of Santa’s elves? It takes Brass Balls” and watching Baldwin keep a straight face and talk about Pat Morita to a hot dog made Jeremy Conners an instant favorite. It’s a shame the whole episode couldn’t have been made up of similar humor.

Also back was The Tony Bennett Show. This time around was good, but Baldwin shows he’s close to being out of ideas with the character. A better guest than Hammond as Dick Cheney would have helped too. Good thing Alec only hosts every few years so we can’t go too tired of this.

I have to say Shakira was a bit better than expected as well. Who knew that despite not being able to understand a word of her second song, I’d still shell out 3 coneys?

Brokeback Goldmine. Jeremy Conners: The Man Who Married a Hotdog. Santa’s Workshop. Despite not all of these skits being ball-bustingly funny, I continued to enjoy the original sketch ideas being set forth by the writing staff. And who else better than Alec Baldwin to fill the rolls of a gay gold prospector, a hotdog’s husband and a hard ass cooperate elf named Winter’s Breath. While I’ll hand it to Baldwin for definitely not lacking in the character range department, I was really expecting to get a few more laughs out of his performances, especially given the much better and less recurring material this time around. Maybe it’s just me, but he just didn’t seem to bring the same spark to the set that he once did. Nonetheless, Baldwin still managed to carry out a respectable show which I guess ain’t bad considering this was his 12th time hosting.

For the first time this season, the cold opener broke out of its usual sub par coney range, thanks to Baldwin’s impression of Saddam Hussein. I particularly liked the bit where he talked about how he tried to check out the ladies at his trial, but they completely snubbed him. “It’s like I have a beard made of poop!”

For some reason, I also got a kick out of Sudeikis in the Medicare commercial. Perhaps it was because I missed our beloved featured players so much in this episode, but his singing and dancing had me laughing out loud. “Come on old people! Get on the drug train!”

Where was Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig? Approximately 45 seconds of screen time between both of them isn’t enough. Part of the reason the show is doing better lately is because of them. Worst.

Although they still scored 4.5 coneys between them, I was a bit disappointed to see The O’Reilly Factor and Carol back so soon. Neither one has the recurring caliber to be featured every few weeks since their formulas are so obvious. Once every few months is all these ideas should see. That said, I’ll never get tired of Carol dancing during the sketch’s opening.

I hate to pin the success of the show on just a few people, but the glaringly short appearances from Hader, Sudeikis and Wiig were, for me, a big reason why the show didn’t do as well as I hoped it would have. Let’s face it; these guys have really been the ones carrying the show over the past several weeks and to only have a few minutes of airtime between the three of them makes for a considerably less entertaining show. I would’ve much rather seen some extra Hader or Wiig over Baldwin taking gratuitous opportunities to grab Poehler’s boobs.

As I mentioned earlier, I am quite pleased to see that the amount of unique skits that are actually funny slowly growing each week. That being said, however, we still are stuck with a few duds this week, the most evident being Sanz’s recurring character, Carol. This might’ve been somewhat amusing during its debut, but it has quickly become just plain irritating at this point. Seeing it coming from a mile away during the first few seconds of the sketch didn’t help matters either. True, this wasn’t the only second-rate skit to come out of this episode, but definitely the one I felt most needed to be called out as, perhaps, the worst bit of the night.

SNL’s road to overall improvement continued thanks to Alec Baldwin. I have no doubt in my mind Jack Black can also do the job next week.

By and large, Baldwin delivered a decent episode. It wasn’t as laugh-out-loud funny as I had hoped, but at least the streak of original sketch material continues to grow. Hopefully the featured players will regain a little more of the spotlight next week in what is sure to be an excellent episode with host Jack Black.

CONEY COUNT

1. Cold Opening: Captive Saddam Hussein
Premise: Saddam complains about being in jail

2. Monologue: Baldwin (cameo: Tim Meadows)

3. Commercial Parody: Tylenol BM
Premise: A pill that causes loss of your bodily functions

4. Sketch: Face Transplant
Premise: A man deals with his wife’s various face transplants following a wolf attack

5. Sketch: The O’Reilly Factor
Premise: Recurring parody of the Fox News Channel talk show

6. Cartoon by Robert Smigel: Celebrity Mugshot Poker
Premise: Celebrity mugshots play poker
Voice-over cameos by Phil Gordon and Dave Foley

7. Sketch: Brokeback Goldmine
Premise: Parody of “Brokeback Mountain”

8. Music: Shakira “Don’t Bother”

9. Weekend Update
Guests: Thomson

10. Sketch: The Tony Bennett Show
Guests: Recurring sketch with Baldwin impersonating Tony Bennett

11. Sketch: Carol!
Premise: Recurring sketch about an obnoxious woman

12. Sketch: Jeremy Conners: The Man Who Married a Hot Dog
Premise: A man marries a hot dog and starts a family

13. Commercial Parody: Medicare
Premise: Advice on how to use Medicare’s online capabilities

14. Music: Sharkira “La Tortura”
Guest: Alejandro Sanz

15. Sketch: Santa’s Workshop
Premise: Santa sends a hard hitting corporate representative to motivate his elves

TOTALS

37 / 60 Coneys

24.5 / 60 Coneys