whatevs.org presents...

"SNL - SEASON 31 REVEALED"

by Nummer and H-Bomb

Episode 9: Jack Black / Neil Young (12/17/05)

CONEY RATING SYSTEM
= John Belushi
= Amy Poehler
= Tim Meadows
= Melanie Hutzel
= Charles Rocket
= Self-Explanatory

0-10 Coneys – Garbage
11-20 Coneys – Needs Improvement
21-30 Coneys – Average
31-40 Coneys – Above Average
41-50 Coneys - Instant Classic
51+ Coneys - Unparalleled Comic Genius

OAD = Original Air Date*

(*To be fair, coneys will be awarded the same as they were the first time they aired)

What made tonight’s episode great was the music. In fact, Neil Young, Jack Black’s monologue, Samberg and Parnell’s “Lazy Sunday” rap, the return of Tenacious D and a catchy as hell song courtesy of Darlene Love and Robert Smigel made this the highest rated episode of Season 31 to date.

Following up his last musical monologue from 2003 where he “scatted” with Will Ferrell and Horatio Sanz, tonight Black treated us with a tribute to King Kong. Only Black could sing a song about a 25 foot gorilla that included lyrics about Cheech & Chong and “tasty naps”. The dance steps were also pretty good, it’s just too bad he didn’t work in a few donkey kicks (see Black’s 2003 “Wade Robson Project” sketch).

After little screen time and mediocre performances over the past eight episodes, Andy Samberg finally proved his worth along side Parnell in a rap song about going to see The Chronicles of Narnia. Armed with rhymes built around Mr. Pibb and cupcakes, it was easily the most re-watchable segment of the night and will probably be one of the season’s best moments. This has been the second of two SNL Digital Short Films to gather 4 coneys. Could these take the place of last season’s “Bear City” films as being automatic coneys upon every occurence?

Making their third appearance tonight was Tenacious D. This latest visit revolved around a young man’s crushed dreams of winning a Spelling Bee. The D’s song summed up Spelling Bees as an “ancient sport of Kings and Queens” and that to succeed you “must be the cream”. The song wasn’t as good as The D’s 1998 performance of “Sex Supreme” or even “Hornet’s Nest” from Black’s first hosting spot in 2002, but it was nice to have both Jables and KG back just the same.

Ordering up additional coneys was Robert Smigel with the help of Darlene Love. Love, who’s best work is arguably her vocals on The Crystals’ “He’s a Rebel”, sang a 1960’s throwback number about how Jewish people control the empty cities on Christmas Eve. After the Smigel segment, Love stuck around to sing “White Christmas” while Pardo led us into commercials. Gotta love the Christmas episodes.

Finally, Neil Young worked through two perfect performances of songs from his latest album “Prairie Wind”. Seeing Neil back on SNL made you wish established musicians were used much more often, instead of the many recent ventures into Top 40 world.

This week’s episode with host Jack Black was, hands down, not only the best episode of this season, but of the year. Although Black was not as prominently featured this time around, the array of new sketch ideas that were aired more than made up for that fact. From the monologue to “Lazy Sunday” to the Spelling Bee, I was very pleased to see that most of the skits were not only fresh, but pretty laughable as well.

Black continued to hone his SNL hosting capabilities for a hilarious third time. Despite choosing to perform yet another musical monologue, JB was able to pull out all the stops with his song about King Kong. From the first “KOOOOOONNNNG-GA” that he belted out, you just knew it was going to be a winner. While it’s true that Black only appeared in 7 of the remaining 14 skits besides the monologue, I thought his mostly secondary characters were still pretty damn funny. Luckily, that’s the beauty of Jack Black. His facial expressions (like during the Stranded with Glirk sketch when Glirk unbuttoned his jumpsuit or any of the windy moments in the Sbarro skit) and goofy singing and dancing alone can have me laughing for hours on end.

As I mentioned earlier, I was actually rather impressed with the amount of unique skits that SNL pulled out this week, considering what we’ve been given this season. So many 4 coney moments!! Two that definitely deserved mentioning were TV Funhouse: Christmastime for the Jews and Lazy Sunday. I haven’t been all that impressed with the few Smigel’s segments this season, which made Christmastime for the Jews, where Jewish people can do whatever they want in the empty streets on Christmas, a very welcome change. Perhaps even funnier than that, however, was SNL’s second digital short, Lazy Sunday. Joining Parnell’s already well known rap routine was Samberg, who certainly stepped out on his own in this episode. Starting with the decision to see The Chronicles of Narnia, Parnell and Samberg took us through their adventures leading up to the movie, from “hitting up Yahoo Maps! to find the dopest route” to the theatre to filling up their backpack with snacks at the deli because the theatre is overpriced. “Don’t want security to get suspicious! Mr. Pibb plus Red Vines equals crazy delicious!” Best.

Rounding out the show’s goodness was the musical acts, both Neil Young and a special appearance by Tenacious D (I LOVE K.G.!). Young undoubtedly proved that, while maybe not in the prettiest of packages, talented, veteran musicians will always win out over the teeny-boppers of today’s generation. I don’t see how anyone, except maybe under the age of 16, could not appreciate how superb both of his sets were. And as for The D, well, there’s no question that any chance of a new tasty lick by these two will always be embraced.

Outside of the monologue and Tenacious D song, Jack Black was pretty ineffective. Lord only knows why sketches like Debbie Downer, Appalachian Emergency Room (with a pointless Johnny Knoxville cameo) and Stranded with Glirk were given the green light when there is a host with so much potential on deck. Actually, even the sketches that ranked slightly higher than those weren’t much better. Black had little to do besides blatantly read cue cards while playing straight men in one-joke bits. Black now joins the ranks of Steve Carrell in the category of hosts who weren’t fully utilized this season. Worst.

In a surprising move, Sanz was nowhere to be found tonight. During Black’s 2003 episode, there was a feeling of off-camera friendship between these two. A Sanz and Black sketch most likely would have been ten times better than half of the segments chosen for tonight.

Heather: I suppose if I had to find something bad to say about this episode, it would be the decision to air the recurring skits Debbie Downer and Appalachian Emergency Room. Any humor sparked by these two bits has been lost long ago, especially with Debbie Downer. Luckily Black was able to boost these normally 0-1 coney sketches up a notch. Also, the cameos of both Johnny Knoxville and Tracy Morgan were totally disappointing and did absolutely nothing to add to the show. In fact, after attending Morgan’s decidedly raunchy stand-up show at the Magic Bag on 12/9, I had a very hard time looking at him at the Weekend Update desk the same as I had in the past when he was on SNL. Besides that, he really didn’t seem to have a clue as to what was going on anyways.

Despite the floundering of Black’s talents, the SNL crew still earned 43 total coneys. This officially ties Jack Black and Neil Young with May’s Will Ferrell/Queens of the Stone Age episode for the best of 2005. Glad to see that a year with so many bad episodes was able to go out on a high note. Let’s hope the trend continues into 2006.

Three words. Black is Best. Even though some of the more memorable moments of the show didn’t come courtesy of him, I still think JB did a fantastic job and I wouldn’t have been any more satisfied with any other host. Now, if they can keep up with the better writing and find a way to get Hader back into the mix a little more, I think the new year could be off to a pretty good start come January 14, 2006.

CONEY COUNT

1. Cold Opening: A Holiday Message From Dick Cheney Premise: Kids/George W. Bush tell Cheney what they want for Christmas

2. Monologue: Black

3. Commercial Parody: Stuart Little Mouse Removal Kit
Premise: An elaborate way to kill house mice

4. Sketch: Windy Sbarro
Premise: A family sits at a table near a drafty door

5. Sketch: Appalachian Emergency Room
Premise: Recurring sketch in which White Trash visit a hospital
Cameo: Neil Young/Johnny Knoxville

6. A Cartoon by Robert Smigel: Christmastime for the Jews
Premise: The Jewish community celebrates the empty streets on Christmas Eve
Vocals by Darlene Love

7. Sketch: Channel 5 News Shoot
Premise: An newscaster feels left out of a photo shoot

8. SNL Digital Short: “Lazy Sunday”
Premise: Rap about two friends on their way to see The Chronicles of Narnia

9. Music: Neil Young “It’s a Dream”

10. Weekend Update
Guests: Keenan Thomson/Tracy Morgan

11. Sketch: Debbie Downer
Premise: A young Debbie brings down the mood of Santa Clause

12. Sketch: Stranded with Glirk
Premise: A human crash lands on a planet with a horny alien

13. Sketch: Two A-Holes buy a Christmas Tree
Premise: A difficult couple can’t decide on a Christmas tree

14. Sketch: Spelling Bee
Premise: Tenacious D sings about a young man’s Spelling Bee failure

15. Music: Neil Young “He Was the King”

TOTALS

43 / 60 Coneys

45 / 60 Coneys