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wednesday, july 31
what obscure band are you? i'm Hefner. "I am Hefner. I'm a hopeless romantic, but my relationships don't tend to turn out. it might be because i whine a lot. but despite that, people find me quite likeable". pretty much hits the nail on the head, but i don't think that i whine...that much. posted by uncle grambo @ 3:59 PMa case of perfect timing... from the "who cares?!?" files...
i taught the little grizz well. today's detroit news features his review of The Rising. mine will follow later this week. and it is also important to note that there is a small cup of Haterade being brewed out there. if you turned on the TV yesterday, it was wall-to-wall Bruce. beginning with the Today Show at 7am and concluding with Nightline/Up Close at 12:30am, springsteen was all over the airwaves. being one of the bigger Springsteen fans out there, i welcome the coverage and the (rare) opportunity to hear his thoughts and listen to stories about what inspires him to create. however, some others think that the album should speak for itself and that the media blitz is a little self-aggrandizing. today's USA Today features an article on this very subject. but in the spirit of Biggie Smalls, i say "don't hate the player, hate the game." what's wrong with publicizing and letting people know how proud you are about the super fly album you just put on wax? i say it's all good in the hood. yo. posted by uncle grambo @ 9:30 AMtuesday, july 30 Reader Response... your loyal webmaster is always looking for comments and feedback on the posts that appear on whatevs.org. in response to my take late last week on the disappointing announcement of John McCain as SNL guest host, loyal FOW (and former-roomie) Christopher "Friggedy" Frey sent me an intelligent retort. re-printed below is the verbatim email... --- "Frey, Chris" wrote: everything i ever learned, i learned from MTV on my ever-so-slight lunch break (i've got 15 minutes between meetings and i'm devouring a Powerbar), i chose to read the LA Times. obvs. here are some great articles i spent lunch reading... *here's a mini-preview/behind-the-scenes look at Steven Soderbergh's Full Frontal *if you dig on sports, today's edition reveals that Darius Miles is being traded for Andre Miller *last but not lizz, there's also a good article called Bared Feelings, Not Midriffs, which is about the new wave of anti-Britney chicks like Michelle Branch, Avril Lavigne and Vanessa Carlton. like with the electroclash article i posted yesterday, i feel like i've read this before, but it is a good piece (printed on a Tuesday, no less!) on this emerging movement that is all the rage with the kids these days... posted by uncle grambo @ 2:54 PM
CHORUS: Come on up for the rising Left the house this morning CHORUS There's spirits above and behind me I see you Mary in the garden Sky of blackness and sorrow ( a dream of life) Come on up for the rising monday, july 29 the end is near. sure, people have been talking about it for years. first, there was the whole Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards fiasco a few years back. the new album hit #1 but faded faster than the industry expectations. the movie didn't go over as well as any would've hoped (though it still ended up being a moneymaker for the studio). there was the break-up. now it seems like her career is careening wildly downhill like a big-ass truck without brakes or one of those secret ninja off-ramps truckers use to slow down on a hill with a steep grade. it's obvs. of course i'm talking about Miss Britney Spears... the clock is ticking. recently, you've seen her all dolled-up and looking like a two-bit sellout in those annoying Britney 4Wheelers ads. when you have a multi-million dollar Pepsi contract and you agree to shell for Sketcher rollerskates, you can bet that one of her agents/confidants/handlers must've told her that "time is running short; you'd better cash a LOT of checks as quickly as possible." then you had her cameo in Goldmember, where mike myers (somewhat lovingly) savaged her, making Britney the joke of the scene, NOT austin powers. the other celebs who cameo'd were part of the joke, not the target of the joke. now you've got this, a story whose headline reads briefly: Spears Abruptly Walks Off Mexico Stage, Ending Tour. this just days after encountering major buzz negativo by flippin the bird to the mexican press upon her arrival in that nation's capital. britney's fame lasted a good four or five years, which is way more than tiffany or debbie even dreamed of. in this case, howevs, let's just hope that the playboy photo-shoot doesn't take 12 years to happen. posted by uncle grambo @ 5:36 PM
happy monday to each and every FOW walking the planet Earth. this was a low-key weekend, yet it still managed to be tigs. look for twenty word reviews of orange county, lovely and amazing, austin powers in goldmember, reign of fire, and tadpole sometime early this afternoon. but before that, here is an article from yesterday's LA Times detailing the new electro-clash scene, populated by artists such as Peaches, Adult, Felix da Housecat and Fischerspooner. it is a good write-up (and the first I've seen in a newspaper) on the best musical trend to emerge in years, although i felt like i read the exact same article in GQ last month. so all of you GQ subscribers out there can skip this link...who am i kidding? no one subscribes to GQ anymore! in fact, i'm pretty sure that i'm the last man in America who still receives Esquire on a monthly basis...(note to the editors of Esquire: if you're going to feature Hilary "Shitmouth" Swank on any future covers, please cancel my subscription. merci beaucoup) posted by uncle grambo @ 9:28 AMfriday, july 26 fametracker is one of my favorite websites of all-time. for some odd reason, i hadn't visited there in months. but because i have had very little to do this afternoon, random web surfing caused me to recall this site, which is good for a laugh virtually every visit. here are some of the funnier pieces currently featured:
need i say more? baetens + wk! BUZZ!!! posted by uncle grambo @ 2:49 PM
if you likes what you sees, google revealed some hot shots of miss tonya. click-through but NOT IF YOU'RE AT WORK. posted by uncle grambo @ 2:45 PMgawd, what a slow news day. i only found one article worth posting, too bad it's a downer. lorne michaels announced the worst guest host of Saturday Night Live since Steve Forbes. make other plans for October 12. posted by uncle grambo @ 2:32 PMbuzz... i don't know what you Detroit FOWs were up to last night, but unless you were at ferg's rehearsal dinner or makin' sweet love in the backseat of a Volkswagon, you should be filled with regret this morning. why? because you missed one helluva show by The Prime Ministers at detroit's superbest State Bar. i've always been of the opinion that there isn't a more criminally underrated band in the city; there is no reason that the PMs shouldn't be garnering Paybacks-type buzz. but i suppose that is because they don't really fit the mold of other Detroit "garage rock" bands, and the press is currently enthralled with any band that fits the profile of "the next White Stripes." but i'm keeping my fingers crossed that the increased attention on Detroit as a musical haven will result in The PMs garnering a little bit more attention. maybe the August 3 show at the Lager House wsg The Fags (buzz!) will throw some proverbial kindling on the proverbial fire that propels buzz. last night's show was the first time i've seen the Ministers perform since the departure of drummer Joel Wicks in April (ish) of 2001, and i was happy to see that the band has continued to grow and evolve in the interim (even without performing live very much). Todd Wicks (lead vox, guitar) has grown more confident in his abilities in the last year and some change, especially vocally. last night his voice was clear and resonant in a manner that i hadn't quite heard before in a live setting. and the rhythm section of Lawyer Ned Friendship (bass guitar) and Jason Lewis (drums) just crackled last night; everyone seemed to be on their A-game. the show alternated between crowd favorites ("oh rock", "make me your mission", "saturn 7 rock hour"), old rarities ("hall of fame"!!!), and a healthy dose of new songs ("i'm a rockist", "makin' up"). only two songs into the show, it was evident that the PMs had won over the crowd both inside AND outside The State Bar; homeless people walking by the entrance were spotted spontaneously dancing on multiple occasions. local journalist and music-enthusiast Adam Graham even went on to call it "the best show i've seen in months." and your loyal narrator/webmaster/writer extraordinaire would have to agree, The Prime Ministers are the real deal. as mentioned earlier, The Prime Ministers will be performing at The Lager House on Saturday, August 3. do yourself a favor and cancel any other plans you may have already made for that evening; there really isn't any other place that will be half as obvs that night. posted by uncle grambo @ 12:59 PMthursday, july 25
Veni Vidi Voicemail... "so i'm thinkin' about just droppin' the whole rock star thing and, ya know, workin' for my pa thing and and managing a White Castle / Church's Chicken hybrid restaurant. uh, on the corner of North Lyon and Telegraph in lovely downtown...Taylor! in case you don't know Taylor, it's the capital of Down Riv, um, which is maybe maybe the most beautiful area in all of the Midwest. you really should visit here, it's tatts. they have houses with yellow shingles and, um, ya know, girls with, you know, about as many teeth as i have fingers. gimme a buzz. oh yeah, this is peabs." left on my voice mail on wednesday, july 24 @ 4:53pm. 38 seconds long. potential bad news for detroit. apparently, Julian's knee is not healing and The Strokes have been cancelling shows. if The Strokes back out of the already-legendary-before-it-has-even-happened gig with the White Stripes, i nominate the Gore Gore Girls to take their place. the only cure for the summertime blues is Baetens! posted by uncle grambo @ 11:13 AMwednesday, july 24 just in case you thought that the world of English majors was horribly boring and lacked any sense of excitement, check out this article about the brewing feud between Rick Moody and Dale Peck. Dale Peck, a literary critic for The New Republic, starts his review of Rick Moody's new book with the following sentence: "Rick Moody is the worst writer of his generation." he then goes on to eviscerate Moody and virtually all of the "postmodern" authors, including heroes of mine such as David Foster Wallace, Don DeLillo and Vladmir Nabokov (you know, that guy Sting talks about in "Don't Stand So Close To Me"). peck's review is actually worth reading, especially if you ever had any interest of criticism as a form of literature. i can't say whether i agree or disagree (i have yet to read The Black Veil), but I can easily say that Moody is not the "worst writer of his generation" -- i read The Ice Storm and i rather enjoyed it, thank you very much. and you thought only Glamorama had literary chops. untz! posted by uncle grambo @ 6:11 PMfor all the Chicago FOWs, this is pretty much worst ever. looks like Lake Michigan has turned into one very large version of Stony Creek Metro Park! posted by uncle grambo @ 5:04 PM
my boy Jeffrey Wells throws out some major Blue Crush props in today's Hollywood Confidential column. among other things, he says that it's "a quality piece of merchandise. Most of it isn't just good, but very good. It's honest, touching, thrilling — an adult film about teenagers that genuinely satisfies...Cheers to all concerned for churning out a quality summer flick. Blue Crush might look like some frothy, escapist romp in the trailers; it is anything but in its feature-length form." buzz. posted by uncle grambo @ 3:55 PM
also, here is more Yoshimi buzz, this time courtesy of The Village Voice. this is one of those grand album reviews that fellow pop culture freaks / English majors drool over. best. posted by uncle grambo @ 12:31 PMtuesday, july 23 by super popular demand, here are some sublimely sexxxy photos from this past saturday. simpsons bowling, eight legged freaks and a killer set by immerse were all on the agenda. obvs. http://www.whatevs.org/saturday.htm posted by uncle grambo @ 11:48 PMeven e! online is getting in on the Shaolin Soccer buzz (bottom of the page). no official dates, however. and there's still no love for Stephen Chow on the Miramax.com homepage. posted by uncle grambo @ 9:03 PMlunch-time post. salon.com's Masterpiece series focuses on the story behind the classic Kinks jam "You Really Got Me". also, Greil Marcus' weekly Real Life Rock Top 10 showers some praise on the new Counting Crows album. methinks i'm going to go buy the record tonight. i'll save you a click-through, here's the mini-review... 4) Counting Crows, "Hard Candy" (Geffen) quick post this morning. if you were wondering, here's some music that Paul Oakenfold thinks is worth listening to. posted by uncle grambo @ 9:57 AMmonday, july 22 response to my curious thought about license plates... a kind FOW from chicago just emailed me this response to my license plate post a few hours ago. i thought i would take this opportunity to enlighten you all, as well as thank the emailer for the scoop. cheers! >even though 7th or 8th characters have not been added, a new system has. they started out a new line of the plates beginning with the letter B. and then followed with a random 5 characters. the system is currently up to plates starting with the letter J. at least that's what the LPC (license plate coalition) is doing in chicago. how tigs is that? i wonder if the fine State of MI is that advanced? doubtful. maybe Glavzies can do something to affect some change. go Glavzies and go Candy Mills! for all of you aspiring journalists out there, remember that hatchet jobs on movie stars just aren't as appealing to your audience as you might think. you're being paid to write an article about K19, not attack Harrison Ford because he isn't thrilled to death to sit down in a room with you and some lame-ass producer from the Mancow show and answer the same questions he has heard 700 times in the last two days. now don't get me wrong, I hate Harrison Ford as much as the next Chianti sippin', MIB2 hatin' Sight and Sound cineaste, but this article is just plain wrong...ESPECIALLY coming from a writer for the Chicago Daily Herald! Chicago Daily Herald? get a life and get a real job. posted by uncle grambo @ 2:09 PMthought... so how come we never run out of license plate numbers? you don't see them adding a seventh or eighth character; every license plate has six characters and that seems to work out just fine. on the other hand, we are constantly running out of phone numbers and creating new area codes...what gives? what the dilly, yo? posted by uncle grambo @ 1:33 PMhappy monday to you and yours. what a tigs weekend. unfortch, i don't have time to post any pics or do a solid write-up until tomorrow at the earliest. but fear not, loyal FOWs. here is another in a long line of ridiculously tigs postings from my gossip source in LA. he/she used to have a nickname that most of you will recall, but because of his/her impending superstardom, he/she has asked me to leave his/her nickname out of this posting. we are still working on alternate identities that cannot be traced back to him/her...but for now, here is a posting from anonymous: "Tues was out with my Pam Anderson and David Spade at Sky Bar with my friend. Pam is hotter than hot but i think that my ex who doubles for her is hotter. i know this sounds crazy but Pam's teets are toooooo big! it makes her body look weird in person. don't get me wrong, im not kicking her out of bed for eating crackers. she is the hottest milf i have ever seen. uhhhhhh my life is not normal. here's who i've been hanging out with lately. first marcus allen and britney daniels . where? at our 4th of july party at Manhattan Beach. then we went to Adam Duritz's house for late night party. Can i just say his house is frickin amazing. then they played a little ditty from the new album. o yeah, since i'm name dropping, other attendees included breckin myer, virginia madson, neil patrick harris (aka doogie), eddie mills, teri polo, sarah michelle, charlize, and the girl of my dreams paulina rubio. oh my God can she please be my wife or sex toy. dear God is she the hottest latino girl i have ever laid eyes on. Holy Salsa with a bottle of chanti sauce. here is the latest other dirt from the City Of Angels... friday, july 19 even though the Detroit News got schooled by The Freep yesterday, the News turns out a good article about the record shops that will try to fill the void left by Harmony House's pending closure. anyone else interested in going to see The Breeders/Imperial Teen on Sunday night? it looks as if everyone is backing out on me. well, at the very least, i can live vicariously through my brother. he interviews Kelley Deal in this morning's Detroit News. last but certainly not least, giant Asian carp are invading the Great Lakes. "fat, voracious and with a complexion only a dermatologist could love" (quoth the LA Times), these fish are up to five feet long, weigh 110 pounds and can jump 12 feet high out of the water, wreaking havoc on fishermen, boaters and jet-skiers. they jump out of the water and smack you in the face! worst! posted by uncle grambo @ 10:54 AMthursday, july 18 posted by popular demand, here are the photos of last week's Caputchin Insanity buzz... buzz. tenenbaums. clinic. baetens. yoshimi. mario sunshine. 8 legged freaks. bw3. vines. favreau. (nummer) jason x. baetens. coneys. britta. peaches. ian. clones. donnie darko. gonzalez. sakebombs. gnomes. fuzzy wuzzy. baetens. groundskeeper willie. car keys. country bears. firefighters. baetens. baetens. baetens. (graham) tenenbaums. wet hot american summer. coneys. two towers teaser trailer. peaks. bloody hollys. sgt. pepperonis. j tower. lambs. st. andrews. jimmy eat world. baldwin snl. freelance hellraiser. busted stuff. gba. pretty girls. french fries. (nummer) grizzly bears. lafayette. mackenzie toes. monkeybars. lima time. baetens. case. baetens. pornstars. ps2. bond. homers. olympus. motorola. dairy queen. breeders. baetens. google. wonderwall. pina coladas. baetens. (graham) poehler. dj shortround. spirtualized. count dooku. simpsons bowling. minority report. moe. magic stick beers. sugar rose. new apartments. $5 pizzas. dvds. strokes crossword puzzles. baetens. wk. tiger games. hard candy by counting crows. (nummer) leland palmer. tuesdays. turtle wax. miyagi. waterslides. kill rock stars. bartles + jaymes. downey jr. orgazmo. metroid. bacon. throwing copper. wet paint. baetens. (graham) posted by uncle grambo @ 4:29 PMfor all of you out there who are wondering what Mallory Keaton is up to these days... posted by uncle grambo @ 3:43 PMplease see the upper right hand side of the site for GKV's prize for winning the FTC Contest. he won three days worth of Homepage Hotness... posted by uncle grambo @ 1:03 PMwow. the detroit free press reveals that Harmony House is closing their doors at the end of this Bill Thom, president of the Harmony House chain, lays the blame squarely on two major things -- Internet piracy and the decline of singles as a viable sales tool throughout the industry. i think that those two issues are symbiotic; today's youth rarely venture into music-specific stores to buy music. they prefer shopping at big box retailers (like Best Buy), chains who use CDs and DVDs as loss-leaders to drive traffic to their stores. but really, you can't blame the teens for the rationale behind their decisions. CDs cost damn near $20 these days at independant music stores...who's got that kind of money to spend on a CD when you can download the entire thing for free? or buy a brand new DVD for basically the same amount? but i'm getting off on a little tangent here. i just wanted to react and reflect on Harmony House and what it has meant to me throughout the years. growing up in the 'burbs, i remember trips to harmony house as being almost otherworldly. i was used to crappy little record stores like Camelot Music or, worse yet, shopping for cassettes at K-Mart. then the holidays would roll around, and my brother and i would usually receive HH gift certificates as stocking stuffers. visits to quickly evaporate these GCs were high priority with my bro and i. upon entering the stores (mostly at Hamlin + Rochester, but every now and then we'd venture to Oakland Mall), i clearly remember being astounded at the endless selection available there, from scary death metal to rap to the latest top 40 hit songs. i remember a staggering amount of cassette singles (import + domestic), as well as being able to find the soundtrack to every movie ever made. it was also at Harmony House where i first discovered those snobby, elitist music store employees who would sneer at you when you purchased your Tiffany cassette. of course i was SO jealous of them; they had long hair and bad attitudes and way more knowledge than me of the world outside of Rochester. even at the time, i knew that Tiffany sucked, but i was just a suburban kid with no older siblings and no clue how to discover other kinds of music. i always dreamt of asking them for their recommendations, but obvs i was always too scared and too intimidated. so what i am trying to say here is that those trips to Harmony House played an integral part in shaping me into the music fan that i am today. sure there were other major influences along the way (props to Mom + Dad, Clark, JP, Liz, Heather Hansz, Wartinsmooth and Stockwell, wherever you all may be), but Harmony House was the first place that opened my eyes to the boundaries that Rochester had unknowingly placed on my musical horizons and then challenged me to get past them. as the years went by, i found other great venues to learn about and purchase music (Record Time, Schoolkids, Virgin Megastore, Borders, Newbury Comics, Kim's Video, etc.), but there was rarely a season that went by where I didn't spend an entire afternoon wandering through Harmony House, partially for curiousity and partially for nostalgia. this is a sad day, inevitable in retrospect, but sad nonetheless. worst. posted by uncle grambo @ 11:21 AMwednesday, july 17 when it comes to loyal FOWs, there's most of you and then there is the GKV. trust me, i love you all like you are my children...don't ever believe otherwise. but GKV is like the Mozart of FOWs, a prodigy who's gifted and loyal and supremely tigs. anyhoots, at 9:21pm EST this evening, he posted a reply to my question of "What did FTC stand for?". obvs the answer is "First Topps Card". what a bunk way to classify cards. but wait, there's more. mere minutes later, another email appears in my inbox with this attached. GKV, i love you. revealed! i am about to post a link to an article that will appear in the LA Times on Thursday, July 18...and it's only July 17! talk about insider buzz...too bad it's only an article about Kari Wuhrer's life as a B-Movie Queen. it's not quite Yoshimi-esque as far as pre-release buzz is concerned, but whatevs. posted by uncle grambo @ 7:11 PMseriously, does it get any better than this?
remember cards that were marked with "FTC" in Beckett? a prize for the first person to email me with what it stood for. just to note, i TOTALLY remember, i just want to see if you basts do. obvs. posted by uncle grambo @ 7:00 PMwhen it rains, it pours. rochester's prodigal sons, The Prime Ministers, will be back with two upcoming local shows in the next few weeks. if you normally order your Power Pop catchy as hell with just a splash of brit influence, then Todd Wicks is the singer and guitarist for you. and if you prefer your bass players to be sexy AND dangerous, then Lawyer Ned Friendship has probably already appeared in your dreams. check out the "where's grambo?" column for upcoming PM dates, but their website (see above or the links section) will have more details about times and complete line-ups. see you there. posted by uncle grambo @ 2:15 PMthe unstoppable buzz continues... just a taste of things to come tonight when the Capuchin Crazed goes online, whatevs.org stizz. probs late tonight. RockStar Games just announced that Grand Theft Auto: Vice City will be released on 10.22.02. from the looks of the artwork, it seems to have a serious Miami Vice thematic structure running through it. this game is sure to be high on every boy's christmas list this year. carrying along the grand tradition of Super Hot female guest vocalists such as Tracey Thorn (Everything But The Girl) and Elisabeth Fraser (Cocteau Twins), Massive Attack's new album will feature guest vox from none other than Sinead O'Connor. i think that her contribution to Moby's latest CD is that album's stand-out track, so I'm especially excited to see what she can do with Massive Attack. the album will "see the light of day very soon", according to NME. in Box Office News, The Bourne Idenity should have crossed $100 mills yesterday, making it the first movie this year to accomplish this feat with an opening weekend of less than $30 mills. the bourne idenity has legs...who knew? BAETENS! posted by uncle grambo @ 1:34 PMfrom the Buzz files... last night, detroit's own Buddha Lounge hosted a supremely tigs listening party for The Flaming Lips' new triumph, Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots. the album has been highly touted for almost a month on whatevs.org, and last night was the payoff. there was a small but fiercely sexy group of FOWs in attendance, including MJP (aka Peabs), GKV, Beautiful Dave Beale, Marta and, of course, Nummer (who first revealed Yoshimi buzz back on June 20). without question, we were sexy and we knew it. the open question was "Would the Buddha Lounge be sexy enough for us?" the answer was a resounding "Schmobvs." first off, i must admit to fumbling big-time by not bringing my camera. there was a dude who was dressed up like some fucked-up hybrid of an "Intergalactic" era Beastie Boy, one of those evil scientists from "E.T" and a Pittsburgh coal miner. He had on a full body covering yellow rubber suit, a construction hat and a gas mask straight outta 1937 Berlin! he drank his Budweiser through a straw ... AND THROUGH THE GAS MASK!. but wait, it gets better (worse?)! he smoked CIGARETTES THROUGH A STRAW...AND THEN THROUGH THE GAS MASK!!! best evs. but enough about that dude. the rest of the evening was spent chillin out to three straight listens of the new album, revealing old UM Industrial Operations Engineering friendships, bustin' freestyle sex rhymes to the beats of DJ Short-Round, discussing whether or not we had mistakenly stuck around too long as it became more and more evident it was Gay Night, and pounding sake bombs (see "Adventures w/Disposable Income" for the gory details). But the evening is perhaps best summarized by the following email I just got from GKV... --- George Volis wrote: tuesday, july 16 just when you think i am out, i pull you back in! there is a tigs column on ESPN.com today about the all-time best in-game dunks in NBA history. of course they mention the famous Tom Chambers dunk, and the other ones are all legendary. FOW Nation, i've been supercrazybusy today. no time to even surf the web or check email. however, i have a commitment to all of you that i do not intend to break. i promise you piping hot content for your sexy bod, so that's what i intend to deliver. looking for something to do tonight? meet nummer, peabs, GKV and i at the Buddha Lounge for the Flaming Lips' Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots listening party. it's on 8 mile, just east of Lahser. look for a jacked up strip mall and there you'll find the Buddha Lounge. doors are at 8pm. not your style? go hit Best Buy on your way home and pick up Amelie, Better Off Dead or the aforementioned Lips album. obvs. more tomorrow, yo. posted by uncle grambo @ 3:38 PMmonday, july 15 even more buzz than lipnicki? lipnicki buzz continuing to prove that it's the best newspaper in the United States, today's Los Angeles Times features two articles certainly worth your time. first off is "Hope Won Out", an excellent interview with Bruce Springsteen and a pre-review (of sorts) of The Rising. secondly, there is a concise (by LA Times standards) article about Blockbuster Video's struggle to compete with the Best Buys of the world in the Great DVD Gold Rush. also, i want to send belated birthday props to GKV. the world will be a better place once Preciousness.org gets off the ground...keep your fingers crossed in hopes that it will be soon.
this weekend was resplendent with buzz. i will attempt to summarize in a few short paragraphs. friday night - caputchin soup kitchen buzz: attendance at this massive charity bash in fabulous clinton twp unexpectedly resulted in cross-dimensional time warpage. i'm talkin' gallons of Aqua Net, talking robots and guys w/afros on stilts. i'm talkin' the hustle with variations you've never even dreamt of. i'm talkin' appearances from the entire Peabody clan (from Grandpa Herbert to Grandma Rosemary Peabs, from Foss to Nancy, from Aaron to MJP). and yes, i've got photos of it all. look for them to be posted later today. best. saturday night - Baetens Buzz: after some especially delectable Pina Coladas in the Glinka backyard, a few of us headed downtown to the Magic Stick for the Gore Gore Girls CD release party. immediately upon entrance, the Grizz re-introduced us to G3 bass player supreme Melody Licious. nummer and i were blinded by buzz and spent most of the night screaming her name above the roar of the crowd. the gore gore's were the evening's headliners, hitting the stage a little after midnight and proceeding to rock for 75 minutes plus. the G3's bass lines and backing harmony vox harken back to '60s girl groups like the Shangri-La's, but their guitar riffs sometimes echo a forbidden daliance between The Runaways and The Ventures. the crowd was with the Girls from the start, especially the shirtless guys clamoring for a wink from Miss Melody. the G3s even played a cover of The Paybacks "Black Girl", with the entire Paybacks line-up (incl. Buzz Mistress Wendy Case) singing along in the front row. look out for a record review of "Up All Night" (the CD release in question), and clear your calendar on Thursday August 8 for the Whitney Garden Party show feat. both The Gore Gore Girls AND The Paybacks. ditch the Strokes/Stripes for their Clutchies performance, you'll see them at Chene the next night as it is. if you need more reasons why The G3's/Paybacks are the show of shows that night, check out this glowing review of a recent NYC show by both bands from this week's Village Voice. obvs. sunday night - Vines Buzz: pre-show Plakas sounds good in theory, but post-Plakas shows are slightly difficult to handle. after discussing theories on Clones' box office, Ian's undeniable charisma and whether or not Plakas really will bread and fry unattended children, a small group of us headed over to the Shelter to catch NME's band of the week, The Vines. so much buzz, all undeserved (unfortch). their lead singer has one of the best screams since Kurt, that much is true, but the rest of the band dulled this journalist virtually to death. realizing that the crowd was barely clapping throughout the set, the lead singer started climbing the pipes that hang from the ceiling during the last song in an attempt to generate Buzz. unfortunately, the crowd was won over by these elementary school tactics and wound up loving the show, thanks mainly to some Monkeybar Histrionics. worst. this reporter has seen enough shows to realize that NME Buzz + Sam Kinison + Jungle Gyms do not equate to deserved buzz. the night was deemed salvageable because Jerry Maguire and From Dusk Til Dawn were on Fox2 and WKBD Channel 50, respectively. "What about Robin Williams?" you ask. I reply by feigning a stroke, because i would rather slip into the sweet abyss of a coma than ever see 1.4 more seconds of his stand-up routine. i lasted about six minutes before switching back to Keitel and Clooney. obvs. posted by uncle grambo @ 12:05 PMsaturday, july 13 just got springsteen tix. so hot. ticketmaster.com was SO jacked up. come on up for the risin'! posted by uncle grambo @ 10:10 AMfriday, july 12 celebrity sighting! so this isn't as tigs as an update from The Squirrel, but i was just lunching at Einstein Bagels on the corner of Big Beaver (EXIT 69!) and Crooks Rizz. like i always do, i'm sitting down reading the paper and eating a Club Mex on a challah roll. so who rolls into the Einstein's? none other than Shane Battier. pimped out in a fly Kangol and some tigs Oakley sandals, Shane strolls in w/a white girl on his side. obvs. which once again goes to prove my theory, everyone loves white girls. schmobvs. lord knows i do. posted by uncle grambo @ 1:29 PM
Planet FOW, i'm v. busy today, running around like a madman. but i can't leave y'all hanging. here's a great article from today's LA Times titled "When Life Imitates a B-Movie". It's all about mob ties with Hollywood, extortion, and Steven Seagal. I'm serious. great article. thursday, july 11 BREAKING NEWS back to baseball! rumours are FLYING that it is in the Detroit Tigers, not the Arizona Diamondbacks, who are going to fail to make their payroll check on Monday. i can't find any confirmation on the web to back this, but i will search. more details to follow as they come to light... posted by uncle grambo @ 8:25 PM
this week has been all about cooking and baseball. don't know why. i need to throw some porn links up or something. but before i do, here is a tigs article from yesterday's Freep featuring Ann Arbor's multi-talented Catering Queen / Prominent FOW / Sig Vills Survivor, Miss Caro. now that we've taken care of that, enjoy a quick shot of Chasey... Pardon my French, but baseball is fucked. News reports are cropping up all over the place that two teams are in deep financial trouble. The Houston Chronicle reports that the 2001 World Series Champion Arizona Diamondbacks don't even have enough money to pay their players on Monday and that all of the players' checks will bounce. The other report is that the Tampa Bay Devil Rays don't even have enough money to finish the season!!! This is breaking news, more to follow... posted by uncle grambo @ 12:09 PMVeni Vidi VoiceMail... "ah ah ah...have you ever heard these fucking commercials on the radio for Bud Haikus? worst evs! okay, for one, Budweiser regular as a beer is...is worst. it's (untelligible). it's not even the King of Beers. i don't know who refers to it as the King of Beers. and secondly, there's these people who are trying to be all hip, referring to haikus as "5-7-5"s and um, talking about (unintelligible)...i don't even know, the worst, the worst evs. um, i'd like to hear your opinion: if you have heard them, and if you haven't, and would like to, just go ahead and flip on the fucking radio for once and you could just hear it every five minutes. this is Peabs. bye." first heard on Mark Graham's voicemail at 9:10 am on July 11, 2002. sent by an outside caller (MJP). 39 seconds. posted by uncle grambo @ 9:40 AMwednesday, july 10 My copy of Shaolin Soccer finally arrived from the DDD House today. Best. A screening will occur in its full Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound glory sometime in the next few weeks. See it in its original, pristine form before Miramax hacks it up. A release date is currently set for August 30, 2002 in New York and LA. Here is some buzz, courtesy of Ain't It Cool News... SHAOLIN SOCCER Bad first. The Beautiful Title Credits and opening score. Gone. The first few minutes in the locker room where Fung accepts the dishonor check. Gone. The amazing overture reprise in the closing. Gone. And replaced by...dear god...a techno remix of Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting. I about choked. Wait..i did choke. So bad. Oh yeah, and the dub, like all dubs, is laughable. The original voices were so great for this film. Especially Stephen Chow. I missed his high pitched wail. But now the good. Thats all the changes. NO rap music. The score is faithful throughout the entire middle. There was even a dance number added in that I had never seen on my copy of the film. The jokes are still funny, the fighting still great. And the soccer games have never looked better projected so clear on the big screen. Still an enjoyable movie, and the audience I was with loved it. SO I say, dont try to be too much of a purist, just drag your friends to see this, even if you know better. They did ok. this morning's tidbits...
Last night's 73rd annual All-Star Game ended in a tie (?!?!?!). Whatever happened to "it ain't over til it's over"? Worst evs. Seriously, another nail in the coffin of baseball. Wolfgang Peterson is in talks to direct a "Batman vs. Superman" movie. It's being written by Andrew Kevin Walker (Se7en), which might suggest decent things, but this movie reeks of being worst. No actors have been cast, but I would love to see Michael Keaton beat the crap out of Christopher Reeve. Obvs. In White Stripes news, Christina Fuoco reveals that Jack White attended the Von Bondies show at Tastefest on Saturday. She also insinuates that he is dating a member of the band...interesting. However, I can promise that this show wasn't nearly as hot as when Peabs, Pieps, Erin From 'Rado and I saw Carl Craig spin at Tastefest on Friday night. He closed his set by dropping some funky techno version of Talking Heads' "Once In A Lifetime". So hot. Which of The Strokes are actually cool and which are tools? Revealed (courtesy of Nummer) on Geocities. Last but not least, props to Pants and The Grizz for hosting the premiere screening of The Royal Tenenbaums - Criterion Collection last night in "The Birm". $5 Caesers and blue Moon Mist (!!!) only added to the viewing pleasure of 2001's third best film, at least according to The Grahammys 2K2. Also appearing were Nummer, Lambs, Andrew "Fingers" Moore and Mike Hudson. Word. posted by uncle grambo @ 9:36 AMtuesday, july 9 gotta love them Green Bay Packers! Packers fullback Najeh Davenport was arrested for dropping the kids off NOT at the pool, but in a closet of a random dorm room. Worst! Sully and Knuff, where are ya? posted by uncle grambo @ 1:58 PM from the Best Ever files...
no more Plakas! looks like long-time FOW j.nummer has hit the big time. apparently after editors at The Detroit News read his brilliant review of the new Flaming Lips album right here on Whatevs.org, they immediately contacted him for a story on cooking when you're a single guy. ah, the sweet rewards of fame, courtesy of what evs (dot org). and the article isn't even by my brother! you too can be famous someday! submit some PIPING HOT CONTENT FOR MY SEXY BOD today!!! posted by uncle grambo @ 1:43 PMApparently Mike Myers is considering starring as Keith Moon in a new movie. Can you get any more lame? It would be much cooler if he was considering a biopic about Kool Keith. Polar Palooza is coming to Royal Oak! posted by uncle grambo @ 9:01 AM
does anything else need to be said? stop reading this and go buy Tenenbests! posted by uncle grambo @ 8:51 AMmonday, july 8 When was the last time YOU got married? probably never! regardless, check out Jess + Chuck's Wedding Extravaganza, which obviously includes Uncle Grambo's directorial debut, The Hotness (right click and choose "Save Target As"...requires Quicktime) posted by uncle grambo @ 11:39 PMi've been posting like a fool today, but I just now got to reading today's Detroit News...for all you Children of The '80s, you'll delight in The Grizz's review of the "Like, Omigod! The '80s Pop Culture Box (Totally)". it's so obvs it's clearly tigs. and duh hickey that i'm referencing both the box set and the review. boombalatts. posted by uncle grambo @ 3:05 PMTed Williams, aka Teddy Ballgame, passed away last week. While there have been some good tributes written (the NYT had a good version in yesterday's newspaper), King Kaufman's article in today's Salon.com is a great look at what makes baseball relevant today. No, it is not the quality of the game -- everyone knows baseball sucks (see Allan Barra's article on why). What makes baseball still relevant and still fun to discuss are arguments like the one that Kaufman poses. Was Ted Williams the greatest player of all-time? For my money, that player has got to be Barbaro Garbey, closely followed by Aurelio "Senor Smoke" Lopez and Tommy Brookens. Shatters. On a completely unrelated note, it appears that John Frankenheimer has died. The legendary auteur of films such as The Manchurian Candidate (Sinatra earns film buzz), Ronin (Euro car chase sequences extraordinaire), The Island Of Dr. Moreau (easily the worst film of the 1990s), and Reindeer Games (seldom referenced) has gone on to the Great Avid Editing Suite In The Sky. props out to the man (though he wasn't the first nor likely the last) who persuaded Charlize Theron to get topless in a swimming pool in Reindeer Hittins. Strangely enough, Bobby Kennedy was staying with FrankenBest in Hollywood when he was assassinated by Sirhan Sirworst, 1968 style...what? Maybe that began the negative buzz that continued through Moreau. I also learned that he "spoke fluent French, cooked French food and tooled around Los Angeles in a Mercedes-Benz pumped up to 750 horsepower. He assembled miniature cars which he displayed in glass cases at his Beverly Hills home." Obvs, who doesn't? posted by uncle grambo @ 1:59 PMthe wire is crazed this morning. somehow this picture ended up on Reuters. granted, it's a classic but WTF???
from the unexplicable buzz department...
i don't know what it was. maybe it was the twenty-word review. maybe it was the hype that the Grizz built up, California Style. maybe it was my order from the DDD House. but all of a suddent this morning, Shaolin Soccer hit the wires. a little research and i discovered that Stephen Chow (pictured above) will be filming a sequel to the best movie ever about Shaolin Monks and soccer. obvs. posted by uncle grambo @ 11:43 AMfriday, july 5 here's a coupon good for 20% off at Borders, good through July 15. dig on the tigs! posted by uncle grambo @ 1:22 PMNo offense to Heather Hansz, but I think that Miramax has gone crazy. They are opening FOUR (!!!) movies on Christmas Day 2002! Four movies from one studio on one day? These include: Granted, some of these will probably open in limited engagements in NY/LA for Oscar purposes, but look for one or possibly two of these releases to slide into 2003. My bet is Confessions, that feels like more of a late-February movie than a holiday prestige release. Regardless, let's hope that the second-half of 2002 brings us a better slate of films than we've seen in the first half. The only movies that even have a shot at Grahammys 2K3 worthiness are Y Tu Mama Tambien and About A Boy. And oh yeah, Jason X. Obvs. posted by uncle grambo @ 11:21 AMYesterday was your Independence Day. When is Bill Pullman going to become President, anyway? Speaking of Fourth of July movies, I saw MIB II (or "MIIB" as it is called on the one sheets, which doesn't make ANY sense) yesterday. What an abomination. Look for a review/article/dissertation on it later this wknd, because it really got me thinking about how disappointing the majority of today's tent-pole movies are. No wonder the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Controversy erupted at this year's Nathan's Famous Fourth of July international hot dog eating contest as 113 lb. world champ Takeru "The Tsunami" Kobayashi apparently spit out some of the 50 1/2 hot dogs he ate before the contest was over, which apparently equals instant disqualification in this sport. Can't we all just get along? Thx go to Nummer for pointing me towards the NME.com article that reveals that Richard Ashcroft will be releasing not one but TWO new albums within the next twelve months. And props to Kegler for reminding me about the infamous British weekly email, PopBitch. From this week's email, here's a tasty lil' nugg for everyone about Rochester Adams' most famous alum... How hot is that? Would Nelly ever have gay boys bring him Starbucks? Don't think so. Madge = Best posted by uncle grambo @ 10:40 AMwednesday, july 3 this survey is courtesy of E Dubz...i'm just killing time here so i thought i would reply and post my response. these surveys are totally Charles Nelson Reilly but it's all good... --- erin welsh wrote: 1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? 2. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? 3. FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE ON SOMEONE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? 4. WHAT'S THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT? 5. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? 6. WHERE IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? 7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? 8. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG MIND OR STRONG BODY? 9. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? 11. WHAT MAKES ME REALLY ANGRY? 13. FAVORITE COLOR 14. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? 15. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AN AFTERLIFE? 16. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? 17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? 18. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE? 19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERPOWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? 20. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? 21. CAN YOU JUGGLE? 22. WHAT PERSON FROM YOUR PAST WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO BACK AND TALK WITH? 23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY? 24. WHAT IS IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? 25. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? 26. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU MAILED THIS TO, WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? 27. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND 28. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE/LEAST FAVORITE HOLIDAY? 29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? i just had to pass this along. courtesy of The Grizz, here are the complete lyrics to Buckner & Garcia's classic anthem of video-game addition, Pac Man Fever...
cause i got pac man fever i got all the patterns down up until the ninth key i got pac man fever i'm gonna fake to the left and move to the right now i've got 'em on the run and i'm lookin for the high score cause i got pac man fever three quick posts this morning before the holiday break...see ya at Tastefest! tuesday, july 2
James Toback, one of Hollywood's most original and daring directors, is profiled by Salon.com this morning in an article called "The Original Pick-Up Artist". It's long but certainly worth reading, largely because Toback is totally best evs. If you haven't seen Black and White or Two Girls And A Guy, you're missing out. His latest film, Harvard Man, stars Sarah Michelle Best Ever and is currently playing in NYC and LA. A.O. Scott (film critic for the NYT) has described it as "if John Hughes and Jean-Luc Godard teamed up to direct a third-season episode of The Sopranos", and Reel.com's Jeffrey Wells claims it is "hands down the best LSD-fortified mafia basketball sex comedy and morality tale of the 21st century." Hopefully it will make it's way to a theater near us in the next month or two... posted by uncle grambo @ 8:36 AMmonday, july 1 it's a special day when you get an email from The Giors. apparently The Giors was reading the site last week and caught my Amanda Peet reference. well it looks like everyone and their mother (or in this case, their cousin) knows Amanda Peet. check it out...
Obvs. And Giors (as well as any other interested FOW), please send me any content that you can muster. I'd be happy to post it. You know where to email me. posted by uncle grambo @ 5:15 PMan interesting tete-a-tete occurred on Slate last week re: "Like, Omigod! The '80s Pop Culture Box Set", which i believe streets this week. tigs. posted by uncle grambo @ 11:19 AMper the peanut gallery (aka Grizz), i have been asked to update this post so that others may experience the delight of the joke. so we're at the CoPa yesterday for the Tigers game. you know how everytime you go to a ballgame there is always a dude sitting by you who is a walking Baseball Encyclopedia? well we had one sitting behind us yesterday (obvs). the kind of guy who knows that the Tigers third baseman Jeff Truby was just called up from Toledo and can't bat worth a lick. the kind of guy who knows all of the weaknesses of the Tigers hitters, so much so that he said (and I quote) "If I were a Pirates pitcher, i'd be licking my chops looking at this line-up." this dude was classic, he even busted references of how he saw Frank Tanana pitch against Mickey Lolich in 1974 when Tanana was a rookie. he went as far as to call Tanana "a young fireballer." so anyway, the Tigers had men on first and third with two outs in the bottom of the sixth. the pitcher stepped off the mound to fake a throw to 3B, just to keep the runner honest. well whoever the dumbass who was on first took off for second. the pitcher whirled around and caught him in a pickle for the third out of the inning. and the dude behind us busts "that was the old Nelson Briles manuever". like anyone even knows who Nelson Briles is or was. until today. thanks to the miracle of the internet, now everyone loves Nelson Briles. obvs. posted by uncle grambo @ 11:15 AM
"TANGENT 2002: Disco Nouveau is a compendium of the Robot Disco sound as seen through the eyes of contemporary electronic musicians. The "New Disco" in question, or Italo Disco (named because of its Italian roots), is the electronic dance music from the late 1970's and early 1980's that spawned from the synthesized basslines of mega-producer, Giorgio Moroder. This music harkens back to an era of colorful futurism, encompassing the boom of video game culture and also perhaps the last great visual futurist agenda that has succeeeded in changing our commerical landscape, from font types to fashion. Visions of new romanticism coupled with the hope/fear of a computerized tomorrow, define a music and an aesthetic that will be remembered for excess and vanity, of innovation and dream-like plasticity." Obvs. Best. posted by uncle grambo @ 9:58 AM |
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is anyone out there even watching 
