Everybody Wang Chung Tonight

That is to say, my wang, her Chung. BOW! [via The Lounge Saints]

What?

Okay, I admit it. That was crude. Probably even uncalled for. But you gotta be patient with your Uncle Grambo as I reacclimate myself to the murky waters of The Blogosphere™. At least I'm not out pounding the pavement in search of Katie Holmes toes. Yucatan Peninsula.

But speaking of Bunim's Beauties, how redonk was Angela Trimbur's topless lezbo hot tub scene on last weekend's "Entourage"? While it doesn't seem likely that we'll ever see those tees in full hi-res hottness (NSFW), I applaud Christopher Walken's Wife for making one of my lifelong dreams come true. [thanks to YuppiePunk for the assist]

Congrats to long-time FOWs (and even longer-time friends) Sara and Spike of Channel 95.5's Mojo In The Morning show for cleaning house in The D™'s Spring Arbitron ratings. All kinds of positive momentum after sinking the DRQ ship in the spring leaves them only one-tenth of a ratings point behind Drew & Mizz for #1 in 18-34 demo. Keep up the whoot whoot and the hey hey, y'all.

Speaking of overdue propers for friends from the old skool, did you catch The DetNews fawning write-up of local power pop heroes The Prime Ministers yesterday? The PMs are being featured as early front-runners in the paper's Sonic Summer contest. Crucial.

And you thought your Uncle Grambo disappeared for a long time? Amanda Bynes hasn't been spotted in public since May 17th. Worst.

How is it that 8 year old kids know how to throw a curveball and I can't? Other than with a Wiffle Ball, that is. Worst.

Rejoice! The official site for "The Pick Of Destiny", the forthcoming Tenacious D film, is live. The only bad news is this: no release date has been set. Be patient, your Uncle Grambo is confident that the reunion of Jables and Rage Kage will be worth the wait.

Scary. After a bout with (and I quote) "periorbital cellulitis with bilateral pneumonia", Spiritualized frontman J. Spaceman is down to 112 pounds. Get well soon, mate.

Hey all y'all chubby chasers out there. Yeah you. Sara Rue ... En Ess Eff Double U. I say bogue but to each his own.

Rasta Robbie (Williams, that is). Could be kinda best. But who listens to rasta in October? EMI should've put that shit out during the summertime.

Don't go accusing me of being a member of the card-carrying Baseball Elite, but there's no way in infierno that Rafael Palmiero belongs in the Baseball H.O.F. So what if he just became the fourth member of the 3,000 hit / 500 HR club? There's no knocking the skillz of a man who's been consistently above average for nearly 20 seasons in the bigs, but outside of a few roid-infested and juiced ball years in the late `90s, it would be tough to argue that Palmiero has ever really been considered a feared player. Read Skip Bayless' extended take on this very same subject. Where the hell is Will Leitch when you need him?

Those ultra laid back College Humor brosnans just recently scored a feature film development deal with Paramount. For those paying attention, they just upped the ante and became true Internerd™ superstars. Why settle for a lame-o book deal when you can make motherfucking movies? Show 'em your motto!

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Hey kids. Your Uncle Grambo is back behind the wheel after a long and luxurious two-week summer vacation. Over the course of the last eighteen days or so, I've logged over 2,700 miles in hybrid automobiles, sport utility vehicles, trains, buses and monorails. I set foot in eleven different states. I swam in one ocean, three pools and at least five bathtubs. I saw six different movies at four different theatrical locations, and at least another dozen on the telly. I read local newspapers from five different cities and (sadly) only half of one novel. I slept on a chaise lounge, a sofa, a hideaway bed, a twin bed, a floor, a queen-sized mattress, a love seat and a king-size bed. I ate like Kelly Osbourne. I drank like Ozzy Osbourne.

And how many times over this two weeks did I get on The Internerd™? Two, for approximately fifteen minutes per session. I logged on, checked email, and logged off. Blogs? Didn't visit 'em. Not even whatevs.org. Doctor's orders.

Frankly folks, I was in dire need of these two weeks of detox. I spent the entire month of June on an epic emotional bender. If it wasn't the peaks and valleys that the Pistons put me through, it was the j-o-b laying a Mike Tyson circa 1987 style beatdown on me. It was nothing short of refreshing to spend a the first eighteen days of July marinating on the beach, relaxing with family and out-of-state friends and just being a bum. And while I am sorry that I left the FOW Nation high and dry, please believe me when I say it was in ALL of our best interests that I did so.

I trust that you discovered other valuable outlets for gossipmongering and celebrity tees over the last few weeks, and I encourage you to continue visiting them in the future. I'm going to try and be as accessible as possible between now and September 1, but I have some MAJOR work and extracurricular commitments that are likely going to take precedence during this time. I will promise not to take another ginormous leave of absence between now and the December holiday season but, as a reader, you should expect a higher QUALITY of P.H.C. over a higher QUANTITY of P.H.C. over the next six weeks in particular.

In closing, thank you for your continued support. Even though there has been some pollution on the backblogs of late, I'm glad that there are still a number of you out there who are pickin' up what your Uncle Grambo is throwin' down.

Stay bovs, yo.
— Mark

Betty Marie Gets Naked!

ALMOST. But all enquiring horndog minds should definitely be present at Oslo this very Thursday night for Love Bizarre's Lingerie Dance, hosted by SLGTM's Betty Marie Best and Pas/Cal's Richard Panic and Nathaniel Burgundy.

Ferreals, when are those douchebags who run Xtreme Detroit gonna wise up and feature BMB as a centerfold? Where's Bo Shmears when you need him? And why on God's green earth is there a billboard of The Captain Stevie Yzerman on display in the Los Angeles of 2019? THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS THAT KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT!

Anyhoo, if any kind FOW decides to attend this Thursday's shindig and gets snaps, send them my way. Hozzlebovs. More in a bit. I'm back, baby. I'M BACK!

Thanks to Eagle Eyes for the spottage. You know who you are. If anyone gets their hands on any of these in full hi-res hottness, get in touch pronto steez.