Stroke It (Dane Cook's Ego, That Is)

Man, I want to like Dane Cook, I really do. Not only was his extended cameo in "Waiting" one of the better performances in a certifiable instant comedic classic, but he showed some serious charisma and comedic chops in his star-making turn as "SNL" guest host back in December. But I gotta be frank, your Uncle Grambo is beginning to get concerned. Because about three minutes into the first episode of his new HBO docu-comedy "Tourgasm", it was readily apparent that dude's developing a God complex that makes Alec Baldwin's character in "Malice" look like Mother Theresa in comparison.

For those not in-the-know, the show is ostensibly about four comedians who occupy varying rungs of the ladder of recognition who embark on a month-long, cross country comedy tour of collegiate campuses. The show promises a warts and all look at life on the road, including everything from trying out a new routine that completely bombs to the difficulties of showering on a moving bus. Sounds pretty appealing, right? Don't be fooled, dear FOWs, as the show's secret mission appears to REALLY be about presenting Dane Cook (the star, executive producer AND director of the show) in the most messianic light poss.

For me, the trouble stems directly from what is happening in the AVID bay. Mainly because the show plays like it was edited by Dane Cook's mother. In the first three episodes, we have seen him take the time to lend fatherly advice to one of his fragile compatriots, defending his road manager when one of the other comedians shows up late for breakfast, schooling all comers in a rock climbing contest, and espousing in confessional asides about how the best part of the tour is giving his homeys their big break. Ok, Dane, we get it ... you're MORE than just a funny guy. You're a humanitarian, a best friend, a world class athlete and a Svengali. But now that you've hit these tenets over our heads for three episodes, can we finally get on with the funny? `Cos if you continue to lay it on this thick for the rest of the season, that whole "I'm cocky because I'm funny" schtick that you've built your career on will quickly begin dissolving into vainglorious preening. And none of us wants this to happen.

Here's hoping that Dane will use this experience to learn the valuable lesson that Tom Cruise has inexplicably forgotten in the last twelve months. Namely, that stars who get in the good graces of the American public are those who manage to stay on the right side of the delicate line separating image control from image manipulation.

Thirsty? Thought so. Here's a healthy swig of PHC, bullet stizz:

• Chuckles Klosterbest turned in an interesting thinkpiece in this month's Esquire. Entitled "The Lester Bangs Of Video Games", he spends his column wondering aloud why there ISN'T a Lester Bangs of the video game world. You know, some critic whose exceptional insight and witty prose somehow lends legitimacy to the entire art form. Worth reading, and even worthier to spend some time thinking about. Bovs. [via What We All Want]

• Rut row. Who is the dumbass publicist who let Kat McPhee pull the ripcord on her "I'm a recovering bulimic" story to promote, well, NOTHING IN PARTICULAR? Good god, man ... at least save that story for when your full-length comes out!

• So, Channing Tatum ISN'T dating Bynes? PHEW!

• Is it Game Over for The Strokes? Not only has their buzz plummeted substantially stateside, now it seems that the Brits are turning their backs. The Sun described their headlining performance of the 02 Wireless Festival last weekend as "dull and formal, coming across as a band going through the motions to collect their pay cheque." Developing...

• And your Uncle Grambo would like to wish a healthy congrats to none other than The Grizz, who was recently named Lead Music Writer of The Detroit News! Don't fret, he'll still be helming the daily Newsmakers column, but word on the street is that he'll be leading the charge to return the DetNews music coverage to prominence. So best!!!

And finally, in case you were wondering, this is not the "All-Time King Pin Shit Hot Post" that I promised to reveal. Unfortch for you and I, that piece is on temporary hold. Your Uncle Grambo has to get a few things cleared with some high-powered Hollyweird publicists before I'm able to drop the hottness. I'm workin' overtime, Bachman-Turner Overdrive stizz, to get embargos lifted and everything straightened out. Keep your fingers crossed, it's ready to drop as soon as I get the clearance, Clarence. Word? Word!